I am so thankful

My mom called me late last night after I got home from work around 10pm to inform that my brother had been in a bad snowmobile accident in the early morning. He was coming home from a ride with some friends when two of them stopped at the top of the hill to wait for the other two. They were waiting for a while so decided to turn around and go back to find them. It was a blind hill and as my brother was going over the ledge to head down he was hit by one of his friends. We were told that he flew in the air and rolled until coming to a stop 40 feet from his snowmobile. He told my mom that the only thing he was thinking of when he was rolling that he hoped his neck wasn't broken. Thank you God, that is wasn't. His snowmobile is completely wrote off and I guess a huge mess but thankfully he is alright, just a very sore neck and body. I am so thankful to God that this was not my brothers time. It really could of went either way. Last week a 30 year old man died here when he was struck on his snowmobile. I fear every time Jonathan goes out in his, I know he is a responsible driver but accidents happen so easily, as we just experienced.

I'm Doing Good!!

So the bonus of not being PG this month is that I get another month to get healthier for when I do get PG. My goal this week is to work out 5 times this week and to lose 4lbs. so far I have worked out 2 times so tonight, Friday and Saturday I will have to do and I am already down 2 lbs and it is only Thursday. I feel great!!!

I have been eating really healthy this week which I am so proud of. For lunch I usually just have soup and some cheese and a piece of fruit. For dinners I eat a big salad before hand so I fill up on that first. I am also drinking lots and lots of water. I do allow myself to have a treat every night and that is the 100cal chocolate covered pretzel snack packs. I love them!!!

I feel so great, more energy and not sluggish by the time 3:00pm rolls around like I usually am.

hmmm...

Well yesterday was CD 6 and what a confusing day it was. I woke up with creamy CM which by the afternoon had turned to wet CM, then in the evening I found the smallest bit of EWCM that was a little reddish in color, strange. I marked my CM for the day as creamy though because it is really early to be having wet CM.

Well today I have had wet CM all day and have been having cramps and twinges off and on. It seems a bit early to me to be getting wet CM this early but I guess nothing really surprises me anymore when it comes to my cycles. I guess we will just start sexing it up.

No Little Pumpkin

Well no little pumpkin for us. My cramps have been getting stronger and when I checked my cervix this afternoon there was some blood so I suspect AF will be here by the end of the day or early tomorrow. I am done of my pity party, I have cried the last two days and have nothing left so I am now moving on to this next cycle and praying this is our cycle.

This month marks our 1 year since we started TTC however, it has only been 8 cycles. as we took from april - august off. Lets hope cycle # 9 is our lucky one. It definitely doesn't get easy as time goes on.

Now only about 14-15 more days until I O,from one countdown to the next.

I am having a couple of rough days, I have given up hope for this cycle. My chart is crap because of this cold, waking up several times a night and having to sleep with my mouth open for the last week due to congestion. Also I have no symptoms at all, I felt nauseaus on the weekend but I guess that was just the flu. Cramps and sore BB's started last night so I expect AF in the next couple of days.

I completely broke down last night and cried hysterically to Joel because I was watching a tv show and the man kissed his wife's belly goodnight. I so desperately want that and it hurt that we don't have it yet. Joel keeps saying it's okay and we'll try harder next cycle but we have tried hard already, we had perfect timing, drank the green tea, did the pineapple thing. I have nothing left to try.

I just pray that it happens soon.

I found this prayer on a different site that hopefully gives others comfort in this difficult time.



Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray for the woman reading this right now…the women who feel alone. As if no one understands—perhaps she tried and tried to get pregnant and just can’t, perhaps she has been pregnant and had continuous miscarriages, perhaps her husband is sterile, she and her husband may have bodies that function normally and still she can’t get pregnant—perhaps she has lost her womb due to a number of different diseases, she may have something that is unexplained, perhaps she has passed the age for childbearing. Lord, the reason doesn’t really matter as much as the pain does, reminders of this pain can occur morning, noon or night…please comfort my sister Lord….please let her know she is a beautiful woman who is loved by You no matter what the outcome of this situation. Dear Heavenly Father, please give her patience with this situation and the Faith to know that this is solely in your hands and your hands only. Dear God I pray for all the women I have met and all the women in the world suffering through infertility. Lord, please wrap your arms around them and guide them through this bumpy path in life.You God are amazing, and I know that, I trust in you lord and I know that anything is possible with you by my side and in my heart!

In Jesus name I pray,

Amen

A Not So Romantic Valentine's

Joel and I are off to visit his parents for the weekend. Not really the way I planned on spending V-day but we haven't visited since Christmas and this is the only time that works so I guess we can make up for V-day next weekend. Maybe we will have something extra special to celebrate.

I am not taking any tests with me this weekend because I am really trying to hold out until 13/14 DPO to test so that will be Tues or Weds. Also my chart is all over the place because of fevers & no sleep so I am going to wait and see what it does in the next couple of days.

I am feeling a bit better today. Yesterday afternoon I was feeling great and was starving so for supper I made Joel go and get me pizza and cheese fingers for supper. I could only eat a bit of it though because it made me feel nauseaus, even the smell of his doritos made me gag.

Glad I am not feeling like that this morning.

I am Perfectly Healthy

In terms of all my lab results. All my results were in the normal healthy range so that is a huge relief. I was really starting to worry and told the doctor she freaked me out by calling me in, but she said she just wanted to go over all my results with me to let me know all was well in person. We talked a little more about TTC and she said come back in a couple of months if we still are not pregnant. I really hope this is our month, unfortunately with being sick I can't rely on my chart. It was so pretty and the last two days it looks crazy. Hopefully tonight I will be able to sleep with my mouth closed and actually get 3 consecutive hours of sleep.

On a good note, no phantom symptoms yet but perhaps the flu is masking them.

Here is my chart for shits and giggles,

Sick Again

Yep, this is about the 3rd cycle where I have gotten sick in the 2ww. It is extremely frustrating when you are trying to temp. Yesterday afternoon, I started getting the chills and aches and by about 6 pm I couldn't move off of the couch. I still have the symptoms today, I really hope it goes away soon, I can't take another flu.

Also my doctor's office called yesterday afternoon to tell me my blood work is back and the doctor would like to see me as soon as I can get in. Well that is a little scary as usually they don't call because everything is fine. I go in tomorrow at 12:30 and I really hope it is nothing major, it is a little scary the way they tell you, you need to get in right away. Maybe it has something to do with my getting sick so often, or if there are any TTC relations. I guess I will find out soon, and will just have to distract myself until than.

The 2 week wait has begun

I am currently 3 DPO. YAY!!! Only 11 more days till testing. Oh the fun part begins. My chart this month is the most normal looking I have ever saw it and also I still have EWCM up until yesterday, lets hope that means something. FF says our score is GOOD as we BD 4 out of the 5 fertile days. We shall see. Only 11 more days till we will know.

O day?

Hmmm, well it is quite possible. Yesterday afternoon I was blessed by EWCM and this morning I woke up to a small temp dip as well as O Pains, EWCM and a high soft open cervix. We shall see in the next 3 days what happens.

Mondays... Have I mentioned lately how much I detest them?

Well to start off, I really didn't want to get out of bed this morning. I was up late working on my research article last night which was due this morning, which is crap, I really should have spent more time on it.

At 7:30 am I finally got out of bed and got all ready to find out that Joel had to leave early to pick up a friend so I would need to drive myself to my carpool meeting spot. Well after cleaning my car off from the snowfall last night, I got in went to backup in the driveway and got stuck. There was no one around and noway I was able to get out. So I called Joel and said I needed him to turn around come home and push me out. He said he didn't have time but would leave his car their and He was get a buddy to drive them.

Well Joel's car is a stick shift, which I hate to drive because I really suck at it. Anyway I figured it couldn't be too bad I was only driving it 5 mins to where my carpool stop was. So I hopped in started it up and was off, YAY for not stalling it as I took off. This joy did not last very long. As I was driving up the very steep hill on our road the car in front of me decided to go 50, yah 50 going up a steep hill with a stick shift really only equals one thing = The Car Stalls. So here I am in the middle of a hill, and what am I to do? My first reaction was pull the E brake and leave the stupid thing there, walk home and get back into bed. That wasn't really an option so I let the car coast all the way down the hill, backwards, and then gunned it up the hill. This only led to me stalling 3 times at the stop sign. Well after 20 mins, of what should have been an easy 5 minute drive. I was at my carpool drop and on my way to school. I was only 10 minutes late for class which isn't too bad.

The rest of the day, thankfully, hasn't gotten worse, but than it hasn't gotten much better either.

Can't wait till Tuesday