All Because...

Week 35

2010-08-27T21:12:00.002-03:00

Well little man this week you are on the move even more and you will actually crawl forward for maybe two moves of your hands and then you stop.

You are trying to pull yourself up on things with the help of mommy. I will hold your waist and you will pull up. It is so cute and I imagine in a few weeks you wont be needing my help anymore.

You can now pick things up with your thumb and pointer finger, your pincer grip. It is so cute to see you pick up little pieces of food this way.

Fit Fridays

2010-06-18T08:38:00.002-03:00

This week I had a pretty good week. I am feeling pretty good about it anyway. I am only down 1.2 lbs but that is a great loss I think.

I really tried to eat healthy this week and increase my water consumption, which I did well at. I still didn't eat as well as I could have but I can try harder this week.

I also did well at exercising. I have started up pilates in the morning and I have been walking 3+ days a week.

Last night we loaded up the dog, wee man and ourselves and drove in to the boardwalk and walked for 5km. It felt great!!! My butt is a little sore today but that can be a good thing, I hope!!

So the plan of attack for this week is:

- walk 4 x a week
- Do pilates 3 X week
- drink 3L per day
- eat healthy

Shopping!

2010-06-17T09:02:00.003-03:00

Yesterday the wee man and I spent the morning shopping. I had set out in hopes to buy the hubbs fathers day present as well as my dads fathers day present however I had no luck with them but I did find a few things for myself. I never shop for myself anymore, it is either things for the wee man, my big man, the house or even the dog, not me.

I complained to the hubbs a few weeks ago that I am turning into one of those frumpy moms. I am in between sizes right now so that doesn't help at all. My clothes that fit before I got pregnant do not fit now and the ones that are my skinnier clothes are still a bit to tight. I refuse to buy new clothes until I am down at least 15lbs as I would hate to buy clothes and not fit into them in a month and have wasted my money. When I started this weight loss kick I said I would go on a big shopping spree in the fall when we plan a trip to the states so that is my motivator. I don't really want to buy many clothes until then.

So what did I buy? Shoes!!

When I was pregnant my feet grew and not just in width. They actually grew a full size. So my once 9 1/2 - 10 size feet are now a size 11. It was actually pretty devastating as I already thought my feet were huge but now they are really huge. To make it even more devastating you cannot find shoes that size around here or if you do they are horrendous granny type loafers. Which I am sure a really comfy but I want to be a cute mom not a frumpy mom.

So yesterday the wee man and I headed in to payless as they were having their Buy 1 get 1 half off sale and they actually had some cute ones. I ended up walking out of the store with 4 pairs. I really can't believe I did it, neither can the hubbs his jaw dropped when he walked in the door after work and saw four shoe boxes. I only spent a little over $100 which is really pretty good, I think, for four pairs of shoes. Granted they aren't the best quality but they are cute and practical.

Here are three of them

Cry It Out

2010-06-15T20:13:00.002-03:00

So Today I started the cry it out method with the wee man and let me tell you it is horrible.

Liam has always been a good sleeper. He was sleeping through the night at 5 weeks old which for an EBF baby is pretty good. Then around 12 weeks something happened and he was up several times a night and it hasn't stopped yet. He wakes up and needs me to rock him back to sleep and just hold him and I absolutely love doing it but I figure he needs to learn how to put himself back to sleep and so I turned to the Ferber Method.

After nursing him for the night I curled him up in his blankie, sang and rocked him for several minutes. I kissed his forehead, laid him in to bed and whispered goodnight. I then left his room and went to the kitchen to do dishes, he immediately began crying. I waited a minute and went to check on him, he was completely fine so I went back out. He continued to cry, I mean wail, so I checked a few minutes later. This time I stroked his hair and sang him a little song, he would have nothing of it so I left again. For 20 minutes he sobbed and sobbed, every few minutes he would stop and I would think oh thank goodness he is done but he would start back up. Finally after 20 minutes he finally stopped, let out a sigh and went to sleep.

I cannot stop feeling like the most horrible mom on the planet. I feel like I failed my child, like he needed me so bad and I just ignored him. I have the biggest pit in my stomach and am doing everything in my power not to have a mental break down. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I hate hearing my baby cry, before tonight I would always pick him up right away and soothe him and it felt so good. I know he needs to learn how to do this but I just feel so unbelievably helpless.

How on earth do I get over this feeling?

Fit Fridays

2010-06-11T10:24:00.002-03:00

Well as I suspected I am still up 193lbs. Yesterday I jumped back on the healthy bandwagon and I am hoping to go strong. It is really hard to stay motivated. My BFF and I started a competition today to see who can lose the most weight. It includes, her, her hubs and I and runs until august 6th. This should be a big motivated but I am afraid they will win. It is hard for a EBF momma to lose too much weight without affecting her milk supply. I have already noticed a decline in my milk so I really need to make sure I am taking in enough calories from now on. So we shall see how it goes. I would be okay with losing the competition though if I still lost over 10lbs.

Thankful Thursday

2010-06-10T19:53:00.003-03:00

All week I have felt like we have been one day ahead so thinking that yesterday was Thursday I posted this and then noticed everyone else was blogging about Wordless Wednesdays so I quickly took it down.

This week I am so thankful for the sun, we have had two long long weeks of rain here and just in the last two days we have had gorgeous weather. Finally we can get outside again and enjoy ourselves.

So yesterday we made the best of the sun and went for a walk. Since I rarely post pics, you all get to have a peek of my two wee lads relaxing after our walk.

Bad Bad Bad

2010-06-09T13:43:00.002-03:00

I am such a bad blogger! I have made a vow to myself that to get better. This week we have been really busy with family visiting. My grandmother and two aunts came to visit us as well as my brother. This was the first time they met the wee man and of course they were in love. Although He was pretty cranking all weekend as he was on a nap strike and tooth #2 was popping through They are back home now so we are just trying to get everything back in order.

I wasn't able to weigh in last Friday, due to them arriving but I know I did not lose anything and I know this week will be the same. All I did was eat out and eat junk the whole time they were here. So I wouldn't be surprised if I gained another 2 lbs. AF also hasn't arrived yet but I suspect within the next day or two I can expect her. Which has also been a factor in me wanted chocolate all day long!!

Fit Fridays

2010-05-28T10:42:00.002-03:00

Well this week was an absolute disaster. I am up 2 lbs which is so frustrating!!
Granted I didn't eat well all week due to Mrs. AF coming and I only walked twice this week due to a strong and cold north wind but it was still so depressing to step on the scale and go two pounds backwards. I am really hoping it is just fluid (bloat) from said AF which usually happens about a week before it shows up.

I was really hoping I would break into the 180's this week, it has been so long since I have been there. Now this week coming I really need to work my tail off to get there, but I am super determined!!

On a slightly good note, I was told by two people this week that I look like I have lost a lot of weight. Which is nice to hear even if it has been a little bit. My jeans also do not fit, I have those nice saggy droopy butt jeans now that are so not attractive. So what did I do? I tried on my skinny jeans, well my slightly fatter skinny jeans, and they fit!! Granted I have major muffin top but I rocked them this weekend with a flowy top and it felt great!! Now to just lose the muffin top.

Thankful Thursday

2010-05-27T16:16:00.003-03:00

Today I am thankful for:
~ My wonderful husband who works hard for our family
~ My sweet adorable boy who fills my life with so much joy
~ That in one month my brother will be coming home to live, no more hospital. That he can now walk, which is so amazing!
~ The bald eagle and it's baby I saw flying when I looked out my back window. They are such beautiful creatures. So strong and graceful. Every time I see them I think of the verse Isaiah 40:31:

But those who wait upon the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

~ Which makes me thankful for God's Love

Teething Sucks

2010-05-26T11:19:00.003-03:00

On Sunday we discovered Liam had a little tooth popping through and well today it is here and to make it worse he has two more that are just about through. The last few days have been horrible for sleep and today he is so fussy and tired. I cannot do anything to make it better for him. The only thing he wants is for me to hold him. I feel so bad for the little guy because he just looks up at me with his big sad eyes as if he is trying to say "help me mama" and I can't do anything. I feel so useless and I am on the brink of tears. I really hope they all come through so soon so Liam can get back to himself and we can get some sleep.

Fit Fridays

2010-05-21T10:07:00.003-03:00

So I decided to let Fridays be my day to talk about Operation Get Fit.

So here I am about a month into my journey to get fit and back to my sexy self and it is going pretty well but I am working really hard at it. The first couple of weeks I started eating healthier and eliminating junk from my diet. I did allow myself to eat whatever I wanted on Saturdays but I would always feel so yucky and fatigued so now I am just going to get rid of that all together.

The last two weeks I starting exercising. I walk or walk/run at least 3 times a week but I try to do more. I find this is what is working the most. The eating healthy helps me feel great but it is the combination of exercise and eating healthy that is taking the weight off. One alone would not do the trick, you need to do both.

So as of this week I am down 6lbs and I am feeling great. Only 4 more pounds until I can reward myself.

Sweet Blog Award

2010-05-20T13:42:00.003-03:00

Jessie gave me this sweet blog award, she is a such a sweetie herself and has the most adorable little girl. Head on over to her blog to check them out. http://www.teamburklin.com/

I would like to nominate

http://goodsonfamilyjourney.blogspot.com/

http://notamomenttoosoon.blogspot.com/

http://alma1107.blogspot.com/

Sleepless Nights

2010-05-19T10:15:00.002-03:00

For the last 2-3 weeks we have been running on no sleep. Liam has been getting up at least 4 times a night and then finally waking for the day at 5 am. Now 5 am isn't too bad and I totally wouldn't mind that if he slept from say 7pm- 5am but he doesn't.

Normally he eats and goes down at 7pm and he was sleeping right through until 6 am or occasionally he would wake at 3:00am for a feeding and then go back down. Oh how I miss those nights.

I guess we are going through the four month wakeful along with teething. The poor little guy has his two middle teeth on the bottom just waiting to pop through. They are swollen and red and look so sore. I really hope they come through soon, I hate seeing him in pain and well we all need some sleep.

A Little Pinch

2010-05-13T10:03:00.004-03:00

Liam has recently taken up pinching and while he is just exploring all he can do with his hands it hurts. Yesterday while I was just about to feed him he pinches my arm really hard. I loudly said ouch and what does he do? Looks up at me and laughs!!

I am beginning to think I am going to have my hands full with my little cutie!

Eating Well is Hard!

2010-05-12T08:57:00.003-03:00

This whole eating healthy thing is really hard, I mean really hard!! I love love food and chocolately fatty food at that. Before I met my lovely hubby I was 36lbs, actually make that 32lbs(due to my recent loss) lighter than I am now. I was in great shape, working out every day and eating very healthy. Then I met my junk food, chips addicted husband and well my healthy habits changed. I adapted his eating habits and lifestyle and fast forward 4 years I am now 32lbs heavier.

This last month I vowed to get my healthy lifestyle back and let me tell you it is not easy. I find it especially hard when you are a stay at home mom and you have the fridge starring at you all day long. Then there is the problem of baking! I am a huge baker, I actually baked every day when I was pregnant with Liam and every day after he was born. I just needed to have cookies and loafs and such around. Problem was I would eat them all myself.

So now here I am eating healthy, and it is going well. I feel great and when I do indulge in some not so healthy options it makes me feel really yucky. Last night I went to the movies and brought along a little sandwich bag with about 20 chips in it and I am proud to say I didn't even eat half of them. Before I could easily eat my whole days worth of calories while watching a movie.

I do still bake, I chose some healthier options and I make smaller portions. For example, I made mini strawberry muffins yesterday. They are delicious and so very cute!

So For breakfast today I indulged in two mini muffins along with some cheese and my daily foot smoothie. It was a great breakfast!!

My Mother's Day

2010-05-10T11:08:00.002-03:00

I had such a wonderful day. My husband is one of the least romantic people you will meet and doesn't often plan things for days like this as he doesn't know what to plan but he made me feel really special.

He first made me breakfast pancakes, eggs and bacon. He does not cook. I gave him my pancake recipe and he went to it. Although they were a bit burnt I ate them because he did something for me he wasn't comfortable doing but he knew it would mean a lot. I love him for that.

He then brought Liam in to me and Liam was holding on to my gift which was a gift card to indigo so I could get some new books since I am always buying books for Liam. It was so cute, he smiled as he handed it over to me. I love him so much!

We then went to visit my brother in the hospital and Liam gave his Nana a gift, which was a photo book of him for the last few months. She loved it.

The rest of the day we spent relaxing and playing together and DH even covered supper so I wouldn't have to make it. Love Him!

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-09T19:40:00.003-03:00

To all the mother's out there I wish you all a wonderful day. We all have the most amazing yet difficult job one could ever have. I never knew I could love anyone as much as I love Liam. He has brought me so much joy and happiness in such a short time.

A Mother's Love

A Mother's love is something
that no on can explain,
It is made of deep devotion
and of sacrifice and pain,
It is endless and unselfish
and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it
or take that love away . . .
It is patient and forgiving
when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters
even though the heart is breaking . . .
It believes beyond believing
when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty
of the rarest, brightest gems . . .
It is far beyond defining,
it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret
like the mysteries of creation . . .
A many splendoured miracle
man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence
of God's tender guiding hand.

Fluffy Butts

2010-05-07T16:00:00.005-03:00

Liam has a blow out poop at least once a day and it is so frustrating and disgusting. So after many many weeks of scrubbing poop and getting stains out of his clothes we have switched to cloth.

Here is a before

And after, his cute fluffy butt

4 Months

2010-05-07T15:20:00.005-03:00

So I am about two weeks late on this post but Liam is now 4 months old. I cannot even believe how fast the time is going, it makes me a bit sad but at the same time with each new month comes new developments. He is so fun now, he talks and smiles all the time and laughs, it is so cute.

4 Month Stats:

17 lbs 11 0z
26.5 inches long

1 Year Ago

2010-04-22T14:03:00.002-03:00

One year ago yesterday Joel and I found out we were finally pregnant. I cannot even begin to tell you how amazing that day was. It gives me shivers just thinking about it. Liam has blessed our as well as those around us in more ways than we could ever have thought possible. He is such an amazing boy and I thank God every day he chose to bless us with him.

No Bottles

2010-04-12T08:41:00.002-03:00

My dear sweet child will not take a bottle. We have tried several types of bottles and several types of nipples and it seems he has no idea what to do with them. We have have tried probably about 5-6 times now and each time he just puts it in his mouth and almost tries to chew on the nipple not suck on it.

Each time it was his daddy giving him the bottle and I was either out of the house or out of sight and sound. I really need him to take it at least every once and a while so I can get out, just me.

anyone have any tips?

Date Night = Success

2010-04-12T08:39:00.000-03:00

Our date night was a success. It was so nice to just get out and be us again. Although we thought and talked about Liam a lot it was great. Liam did great also! I fed him before we left and he feel asleep and did not wake until 3 am to feed again. He had a great time with his Nana and we will for sure be doing it again soon.

Date Night?

2010-04-10T12:55:00.002-03:00

Tonight the hubbs and I are going on a date! A Date? It has been so long since we have been on one that I am actually scared. Seriously, the last time we went on a date was to see the Blindside in the theatre's which was in Novemeber maybe. It was long before Liam arrived anyway. With all that has been going on in the last few months I haven't wanted to leave Liam and well I didn't really have the opportunity. The only one I really trusted to watch Liam was my mom and she was at the hospital 24/7, literally, she never left the place in 5 weeks. Well now that things are looking up and she now goes home at night she asked if she could watch Liam for us. She adores him to no end and really misses being able to spend a lot of time with him. So I agreed and tonight we are heading out for dinner.

I am actually a little excited to get away from him, although I love him to death I have never left him for greater than an hour so it will be good for the both of us. I am also really scared though, I am leaving my baby for the first time. While I know he is in great hands he has trouble going to sleep for anyone but me and has only taken a bottle once before.

I will likely be calling every 30 mins to check and see how things are going and I really hope they do go okay.

The First Day !!

2010-04-08T14:43:00.003-03:00

Today is the first day of "Operation Get Fit"

Since meeting Joel, dating, getting married, trying for Liam, being pregnant with Liam, having Liam and so fourth, I have gained 35lbs well 70lbs if you count the pregnancy but I have currently lost all my pregnancy weight.

This year I am really determined to lose all the 35lbs and would love to do it by October if I can. I think that is a great goal! 35 lbs in 6 months or roughly 25 weeks so it would only be a little more and 1 lb a week. Totally Do-able!

Also Joel and I are planning on running a marathon in October, actually a half marathon, so losing the weight by then would be great as I would have less to carry on my run.

So I am doing this by eating healthier, Following Canada's Food Guide, No restricting Calories because I need them for breastfeeding and by exercising.

So Tonight is Weigh In # 1, I am a little scared but I already weighed myself this morning so I kind of already know.

I will let you all know the starting point tomorrow ;)

Part II

2010-04-06T22:15:00.002-03:00

Well he made it through the first night, and the one after that and the one after that. Two weeks after the accident they removed his breathing tube and took him off the ventilator and breathed well on his own, he was still holding on. All while he was still unconcious.

Around 3 1/2 weeks he started opening his eyes briefly. This was scary as he was so emotionless, it was like there was nobody there and his gaze would pierce through you. As the days went on his eyes would stay open longer and he would be able to focus more. When asked to squeeze your hand he sometimes would, with his left side. This was so huge to us, but we were told to not get excited. Still I had a feeling he would come out of this. At this time he was no longer considered critical and was moved out of the neuro ICU.

He spent the next 2 weeks in the neuro until waiting for a transfer to PEI, back home. As the days went on he would seem to respond to us more he would even give Liam high fives. Although he never let the nurses see this. He was still considered unawake but when I would bring Liam into his room he would put up his hand to high five Liam.

5 1/2 weeks after the accident he was transferred home to the hospital here. We were so excited, he was going to be starting therapy and hoping his recovery would speed up, only we received horrible news.

The doctor here told us the prognosis he received from the doctor in Moncton. He said Jonathan was unresponsive and likely would never come out of this and if he did he would likely have many many problems like never being able to speak or use his right side. This was so devastating to hear, and I didn't believe it. I kept telling my mom over and over he would be okay, He was going to make a full recovery. God saved him for a reason and it wasn't to lay in a bed unresponsive for the rest of his life.
And how was he unresponsive anyway? He would play checkers with us, and win! and he would write on his white board, although it was messy and hard to read but it was with his left hand.

We prayed so hard over those 5 1/2 weeks but even harder when this prognosis came. We knew this wasn't the end and something big was going to happen. On that day I was sent the verse

Have you never heard?
Have you never understood?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint."

Isaiah 40:28-31

This was not a coincidence.

For exactly one week later Jonathan spoke, and not just a word here and there but full sentences. How is that even possible, here we were told he would likely never speak and he spoke. We were told when TBI patients are able to speak again it is a word here and there and he is speaking full sentences. When I went home and checked my email this was the verse of the day:

'But forget all that—
it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
The wild animals in the fields will thank me,
the jackals and owls, too,
for giving them water in the desert.
Yes, I will make rivers in the dry wasteland
so my chosen people can be refreshed.
I have made Israel for myself,
and they will someday honor me before the whole world.
But, dear family of Jacob, you refuse to ask for my help.
You have grown tired of me, O Israel!'"

Isaiah 40:18-22.

So There we have it, God is doing big things in Jonathan.

It has now been 8 weeks since his accident and he is talking and starting to be able to move his toes and ankles on his right side, hopefully this is a sign that he will regain movement altogether on that side.

My brother is a trooper, he shouldn't have survived a crash like this and really had a poor prognosis upon surviving but all he has accomplished has been God's plan for him. God doesn't make mistakes, and while we have no idea why this has happened to Jonathan or our family is has for a reason. We may never, in this lifetime, know the reason but nevertheless there is one.

Feb 7, 2010- The worst day of my life, Part I

2010-04-06T21:55:00.003-03:00

The accident happened in St Quentin, New Brunswick. Which is a very small town not very close to much. We were informed that Jonathan had his a hard patch of snow left by the plow that he had not seen due to snow blowing up from my Uncle's snowmobile who was travelling in front of him.

When his sled had hit the snow it stopped dead and Jonathan hit the windshield and flew 200- 300 feet through the air before landing on the ground. My uncle turned around to watch in horror as he was flying straight upright through the air, nothing he could do to stop him.

The ambulance arrived on the scene 1 hour later and rushed him to the local hospital which than rushed him to Edmunston Hospital. Edmunston was the nearest hospital that was better equipped to handle an accident of the sort and was located 1 hour away. We were told Jonathan was unconscious from the time he made impact.

Fast forward to 7pm that evening when we finally got word from the doctor at Edmunston. He told us that Jonathan had no broken bones but suffered brain trauma and he was be transferred to Moncton City Hospital as soon as he was stabilized as they have the only neuro-trauma unit in the Maritimes.

Brain Trauma? So much for just broken bones. I completely lost it, brain trauma is the worst possible thing that could happen, how can you come out of brain trauma, and if you do what are the chances?

Well at 4 am in the morning he finally arrived in Moncton. We first heard of the accident at 1:30 pm and had to wait until 4 am to finally see him. Those were such horribly long hours. The doctor came in to talk to us and told us that his injury was very very severe, he must have repeated this 5 times and I just kept thinking shut up he will be okay, he has to be. From this moment on I despised this man, even if he was going to help save him. He told us Jonathan had a bleed deep within his brain, and due to this there was nothing they could do for it. He also said his femur was fractured in 3 places, which we later learned was 4. So how is it possible that the hospital in Edmunston missed this? It is after all the largest bone in the body.

After hearing the news we got to see him, and this was by far the most frightening thing I have witnessed. There was my brother, all 6 ft 2 300 lbs of him laying in the bed hooked up to every monitor and tube you could imagine. There were constant beeps and alarms and his chest would move up and down to the rhythm of the ventilator.

We were told these next few days were crucial and that only time would tell what would happen.

MIA

2010-04-06T21:37:00.002-03:00

Well everyone it has been so long since I last posted, too long!!

Lots has gone on in the last 3 months, omg 3 months, since I last posted and I will explain it all. Our lives were completely thrown upside down and within the blink of an eye they changed.

Well start around Jan 31,

On this day, a Sunday, our whole family(all 30 of ya's) gathered at my parents house to celebrate all the Jan and Feb birthdays. This is something we do every month or two if we combine them. Towards the end of the day my two uncles were asking my little brother if he wanted to go on a snowmobile trip with them, it was a week long trip through Northern New Brunswick and into Quebec. Jonathan, my brother, at the time said he likely wouldn't be able to as it would be too expensive and he was a student. After much persuading he finally decided he would. So on Feb 5th, my birthday, the all loaded up their sleds and took off for the weekend. He seemed pretty excited to get away and relax doing something he absolutely loved and after all he did deserve it as he was working so hard in school.

My parents, Joel, Liam and I all celebrated my birthday that night minus Jonathan. On Saturday morning Joel and I headed off to Moncton, New Brunswick to celebrate our birthday's with his family. He is from there and his birthday was on Feb 1st.

The whole drive there, all 1 1/2 hours of it, I felt uneasy and kept thinking of Jonathan as if something was going to happen to his sled, that there would be an accident. I brushed my thoughts away, thinking I was making it all up and being depressing.

The weekend went on and fast forward to Sunday on our drive home. We were half way home when our cell rang. I looked at the caller ID, it was my parents number, my heart sank immediately. I didn't want to answer the phone as I knew something had happened.

I did answer and heard, "Mandy, It's mom, Where are ya's" in a trembling voice. I immediately responded with "what's wrong? It's Jonathan isn't it?" To which she completely broke down saying it was, he was in a horrible snowmobile accident."

My heart completely broke. This is my little brother, the one who knows me better than anyone else, the one who shared a room with me until I was 6, who would build forts with me and splash in the puddles with me, the one who I would try so hard to protect in school only he was 75 lbs bigger than me. How could I protect him now.
At the time we weren't quite aware of how bad it really was but boy was it bad. In my head I just kept thinking, the chances of him surviving an accident aren't great and I just kept praying over and over to just let there be broken bones, he could survive broken bones.

Liam's First Two Weeks...

2010-01-07T13:20:00.003-04:00

Some things I need get down before I forget them:

1. You were born with so much hair, every person that saw you couldn't believe a baby could have that much hair.

2. From the moment you were born you were very alert, the nurses and doctor said you were such a smart boy.

3. The nurses in the nicu fought over who would get to watch you for the night because you were so handsome.

4. You smiled for your grampie when you were only a day old, we thought he was making it up but sure enough you did it several times that day.

5. You are great at breastfeeding, you have a strong latch and gulp down the milk so fast you sometimes make yourself choke on it. Mommy has tried to slow you down but nothing works.

6. You really want to be able to hold your head up, you try so hard. Soon you will be able to.

7. You make the funniest faces when you are trying to wake up, it goes on for about 20 minutes and daddy and I laugh so hard.

8. You pee on mommy and daddy more than we can count. We need to be super fast when changing you or it goes every where and as soon as you have a new diaper on, you christen it right away. Mommy and Daddy are going to go broke from the amount of diapers you go through.

9. You hated getting baths and your diaper changed in the first week. You would scream murder. Thankfully now you are starting to like it better. You even smiled at mommy this morning when I was changing you.

10. When we left the hospital your weight was down to 8 lbs 2 oz and on your 3 day check up you were up to 8 lbs 11 oz, more than your birth weight. Mommy is going to have a big boy on her hands if you keep eating this way.

The Greatest Gift Of All

2010-01-07T12:28:00.003-04:00

well this post is long overdue as it has been 2 weeks today since our little man made his grand entrance into this world.

His birth story goes like this:

At 8:20pm on Weds Dec 23rd my water broke. I was laying at home on the couch, thinking I should wrap the last of the present when I decided to lay down for a minute first. Well I had just laid down when I felt a gush of fluid, at first I thought I might have peed my pants but then realized it was my water. The contractions started right after this and were 3-4 minutes apart and 1- 1 1/2 minutes in length. After about 2 hours we decided to head into labor and delivery.

Just as we were arriving, more of my water broke so I had to walk into the hospital with wet pants, so fun! It was 10:30 by this point and the contractions were now right on top of each other. The doctor checked me and I was only at 2 cm, but he figured I would go very fast and order the epi right away. He also said the way our little man was laying only part of my water broke so during the check the rest of it came out. Thank goodness it happened there because it was a bucket full.

At 12:00 am the anesthesiologist finally arrived and administered the epi. Thank goodness too because I was in so much pain and having contractions right on top of each other, there was no relief. Unfortunately the epi didn't take and only numbed my right leg. I could still feel the contractions and wasn't able to rest at all.

At 2:00 am the nurse checked me and I was only 3 cm, the doctor figured with the contractions I was having that I should be progressing faster so they decided to start pitocin to speed things up. Unfortunately it didn't speed things up.

At 8:00 am I was still 3 cm dilated and was in so much pain that I had to get another epi, unfortunately the anesthesiologist didn't arrive for another hour and a half later. I was in so much pain at this point that I started throwing up, this lasted for about 30 minutes. Not fun at all! At 9:30 am, I received my second epi and this time it worked. Only a little too well. I was completely numb from the waist down and could not even move my toes, so in went the catheter.

Sometime between 10 am and 12:30 pm I went from 3 cm to 10 cm. The doctor told me to wait it out a bit though to see if the head would come down a bit more. I also spiked a fever around 10 am and was put on penicillin in case of infection.

At 2:00 pm it was time to push. Since I was completely numb, I couldn't feel any contractions which made it extremely hard to push. By this point I had been in labor for almost 20 hours with not much relief, no sleep and nothing to eat for 30 hours. Needless to say, I had no energy to push. In the end I had to get an episiotomy and out he came. Two hours after I had started pushing our boy was born.

Liam Thomas arrived into this world at 4:10 pm on Christmas Eve, giving us the greatest gift one could ever receive. He was 8 lbs 10 oz and 21.5 inches long, with the fullest head of dark hair anyone had ever seen. He was absolutely gorgeous. He wasn't crying and immediately after Joel cut the cord he was rushed off. The nurses and doctor believed he had an infection due to my water being broken for so long, my temp spike, and the effects of the long hard labor.

I also had more bleeding then normal so I had to be monitored for quite a while in recovery. So Liam was being watched in the nicu and I was being watched in recovery. I didn't get to hold my boy until about 8 pm that night, when I fed him for the first time.

What an amazing moment that was, still brings tears to my eyes. He was so beautiful and had a great latch and suck. Christmas couldn't get any better!!

39 Week Appt

2009-12-23T15:16:00.003-04:00

I had my 39 week appt today and everything is right on track. I am 2 cm dilated, up 1 cm from last week and according to my doctor my cervix has changed alot, although I am unsure what he means by this. It did appear to be a good thing. The doctor stripped my membranes, which hurt quite a bit, but he wanted to get things moving along even more. He seems to think I will go any day so we shall see.

I do have an induction booked for Jan 4th if for some reason I make it that far but he doesn't think I will.

So things are going really well and we are getting so excited to meet this little guy.

I can't wait to see who he looks like, what color hair and eyes he will have and what his personality will be like.

So exciting!!

39 Weeks

2009-12-23T15:12:00.002-04:00

How far along? 39 weeks 3 days
How big is Baby? 7 + lbs and 20 + inches long
Total weight gain/loss: 30 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes, and some of my shirts are getting too small

Stretch marks? Yes

Sleep: I am sleeping a bit more

Best moment this week: As gross as it is, losing my mucous plug

Movement: Slowing down now
Food cravings: none at the moment

Gender: Boy!!!
Labor Signs: Losing mucous plug, getting membranes stripped, back ache, cramps, period like feeling,and pressure

Belly Button in or out? It is pretty much level with my belly

What I am looking forward to: Seeing my little man, and holding him in my arms
Milestones: hitting 39 weeks

38 Weeks

2009-12-23T15:09:00.001-04:00

How far along? 38 weeks 6 days
How big is Baby? 6 + lbs and 19 + inches long
Total weight gain/loss: 27 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes, and some of my shirts are getting too small

Stretch marks? Yes

Sleep: I am sleeping a bit more

Best moment this week: feeling my body getting ready for labor
Movement: All the time
Food cravings: none at the moment

Gender: Boy!!!
Labor Signs: Getting strong cramps, period like feeling,and pressure

Belly Button in or out? It is pretty much level with my belly

What I am looking forward to: Seeing my little man, and holding him in my arms
Milestones: hitting 38 weeks

37 weeks!

2009-12-12T18:57:00.002-04:00

How far along? 37 weeks 6 days
How big is Baby? 6 + lbs and 19 inches long
Total weight gain/loss: 25 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes, and some of my shirts are getting too small

Stretch marks? Yes

Sleep: I am sleeping a bit more

Best moment this week: feeling my body getting ready for labor
Movement: All the time
Food cravings: none at the moment

Gender: Boy!!!
Labor Signs: Getting strong cramps, period like feeling,and pressure

Belly Button in or out? It is pretty much level with my belly

What I am looking forward to: Seeing my little man, and holding him in my arms
Milestones: hitting 37 weeks

Full Term

2009-12-08T17:04:00.002-04:00

Well yesterday marked 37 weeks. I am not officially full term. I cannot believe how fast this pregnancy has gone, it is absolutely amazing and a little scary at the same time. I don't want the next 9 months to go by this fast.

Everything is going perfect pregnancy wise, well that is what the doctor is saying anyway. My bp has been consistent at 110/60 and my urine is great.

Our little man is head down and in position. I have been having lots of cramping for the last week or so, which I guess is a good sign. I'm hoping he comes before Christmas but this is probably unlikely.

I won't start getting internals done until next week so we will know more than about how I am progressing.

36 weeks

2009-12-04T08:23:00.002-04:00

How far along? 36 weeks 4 days
How big is Baby? 6 lbs and 18.5 inches long
Total weight gain/loss: 25 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes, and some of my shirts are getting too small

Stretch marks? Yes, I look as though I have been attacked by a cougar

Sleep: I am sleeping a bit more

Best moment this week: feeling my body getting ready for labor
Movement: All the time
Food cravings: none at the moment

Gender: Boy!!!
Labor Signs: Getting strong cramps, period like feeling, lots of BH and crotch pain, hopefully these all mean something.

Belly Button in or out? It is pretty much level with my belly, I think it will pop soon.

What I am looking forward to: Seeing my little man, and holding him in my arms
Milestones: hitting 36 weeks

35 weeks

2009-11-27T12:22:00.007-04:00

How far along? 35 weeks 4 days
How big is Baby? 5.5 lbs and 18.5 inches long
Total weight gain/loss: 24 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes

Stretch marks? Yes, I look as though I have been attacked by a cougar

Sleep: I am sleeping a bit more, constantly tired

Best moment this week: Feeling his little foot pressing out of my belly
Movement: All the time
Food cravings: none at the moment

Gender: Boy!!!
Labor Signs: getting cramps and BH contractions but no real signs yet

Belly Button in or out? It is pretty much level with my belly, I think it will pop soon.

What I am looking forward to: Seeing my little man, and holding him in my arms
Milestones: hitting 35 weeks

What a huge difference 6 weeks makes. I can't even believe how big I am getting

33 Weeks

2009-11-13T09:00:00.001-04:00

33 Weeks
How far along? 33 weeks 5 days
How big is Baby? 4.5 lbs and 17.5 inches long
Total weight gain/loss: 22 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes

Stretch marks? Yes, I look as though I have been attacked by a cougar

Sleep: I am sleeping a bit more

Best moment this week: Feeling his little foot pressing out of my belly
Movement: All the time
Food cravings: Chocolate Milk

Gender: Boy!!!
Labor Signs: No

Belly Button in or out? It is pretty much level with my belly, I think it will pop soon.

What I am looking forward to: Finishing the nursery

Milestones: hitting 33 weeks

2009-11-07T15:54:00.001-04:00

32 Weeks

2009-11-07T15:48:00.003-04:00

32 Weeks
How far along? 32 weeks 6 days
How big is Baby? 3.75 lbs and 16.7 inches long
Total weight gain/loss: 20 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes

Stretch marks? Yes, I look as though I have been attacked by a cougar

Sleep: I am sleeping a bit more the last week

Best moment this week: Feeling his little hiccups ever night
Movement: All the time
Food cravings: Chocolate Milk

Gender: Boy!!!
Labor Signs: No

Belly Button in or out? It is pretty much level with my belly, I think it will pop soon.

What I am looking forward to: Our first shower tonight!!!

Milestones: hitting 32 weeks

30 weeks!!!

2009-10-21T09:43:00.002-03:00

30 Weeks
How far along? 30 weeks 3 days
How big is Baby? 2.75 lbs and 15.7 inches long
Total weight gain/loss: 17 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes

Stretch marks? Yes

Sleep: I sleep 45 min intervals and am up for 15 mins trying to get comfortable, I am very tired.

Best moment this week: Feeling a little hand and foot pushing out
Movement: All the time
Food cravings: Chocolate Milk

Gender: Boy!!!
Labor Signs: No

Belly Button in or out? still in but I don't know for how long.
What I am looking forward to: Finishing the Nursery

Milestones: hitting 30 weeks

Got Milk?!?!

2009-10-15T11:08:00.002-03:00

So today I had my 29 week checkup. Everything is going great, baby is measuring perfectly, blood pressure and urine were great, didn't gain any weight and babes heartbeat is perfect, man I love that sound.

After my appointment I had to stop into the grocery store to pick up a pumpernickle loaf for a cheese dip I am making tonight. After getting that I walked by the dairy section and noticed the chocolate milk. Thinking that sounded delicious I picked up a 2L container and headed to the checkout.

Once I get into my car I realize I really need to have some chocolate milk, so what did I do? Opened up the jug and drank it right there in my car out of the jug, I can't even believe myself. This is so out of character for me, I am not a milk fan. Actually I don't drink it at all, I do occasionally have chocolate milk but I have never in my life drank out of a jug. So after I am finished I realized that not only did I have a drink I drank over 1 L of the 2 L jug. Holy Cow!!!

29 Weeks

2009-10-13T12:36:00.003-03:00

29 Weeks
How far along? 29 weeks 3 days
How big is Baby? 2.5 lbs and 15 inches long
Total weight gain/loss: 15 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes

Stretch marks? Yes

Sleep: I wake up about 3-4 times a night to pee

Best moment this week: seeing my belly jump from one of his kicks
Movement: All the time
Food cravings: Chocolate

Gender: Boy!!!
Labor Signs: No but I am getting braxton hicks contractions every so often.

Belly Button in or out? still in but I don't know for how long.
What I am looking forward to: Finishing the Nursery

Milestones: hitting 29 weeks, can't believe how fast it is going

28 Weeks

2009-10-13T12:26:00.003-03:00

28 Weeks
How far along? 28 weeks 3 days
How big is Baby? 2.25 lbs and 14.8 inches long
Total weight gain/loss: 15 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes I am now wearing them :)

Stretch marks? Yes

Sleep: I wake up about 3-4 times a night to pee

Best moment this week: seeing my belly jump from one of his kicks
Movement: All the time
Food cravings: Chocolate

Gender: Boy!!!
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? still in but I don't know for how long.
What I am looking forward to: Finishing the Nursery

Milestones: Passing my glucose test!

Dirty Laundry

2009-10-01T07:29:00.003-03:00

So yesterday I decided to wash our little man's sleepers and undershirts. I was beyond shocked when I couldn't fit them all on the clothesline and I also ran out of clothespins. Yay for having it all done but man, these are just sleepers and such. We haven't even had any showers yet.

27 Weeks

2009-10-01T07:17:00.004-03:00

27 Weeks
How far along? 27 weeks 3 days
How big is Baby? 2 lbs and 14.5 inches long
Total weight gain/loss: 13 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes I am now wearing them :)

Stretch marks? Yes

Sleep: Off and on

Best moment this week: Painting the Nursery
Movement: All the time
Food cravings: Chocolate

Gender: Boy!!!
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In, but it is getting flatter
What I am looking forward to: Finishing the Nursery

Milestones: Hitting 27 weeks!!! I am in the last Trimester

How I am Growing

A kick and a Punch

2009-09-25T17:25:00.004-03:00

I cannot get over the movement from our little one the last few days. Normally his movement during the day is minimal and at night around 9pm he gets super active. During the last few days however he has been quite active throughout the whole day. I absolutely love it. Every time I feel a little kick or punch I get the biggest smile on my face. This is one thing I will never ever get tired off.

I still love when 9 pm hits, This is when he really starts up and he goes for a good hour to hour and a half, I really wish I could watch him and see and know exactly what he is up to during those times.

Our little ......

2009-09-16T10:17:00.004-03:00

Boy!!

That is right, only about 31% of you thought boy and you were all right!!! We are so unbelievably happy and I still can't stop crying when I look at his little 3D pictures.

For the last few weeks DH and I both thought this little one was going to be a boy, not sure why but just got a feeling. Well it was such an amazing moment. The tech was moving the wand all around and I blurted out omg I see a penis and she was like yep you are right. I immediately looked over at Joel was had the biggest smile on his face. I will never forget that moment.

So I am now going to be really outnumbered by males in the house, and my Saturday & Sunday nights are now going to be filled even more with hockey and football as I will likely lose the vote.

We can't be happier though, we wanted a little boy to be the head of the family and now we are getting our wish.

24 Weeks

2009-09-10T11:12:00.003-03:00

24 Weeks
How far along? 24 weeks 4 day
How big is Baby? 1.2 lbs and 12.5 inches
Total weight gain/loss: 10 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes I am now wearing them :)

Stretch marks? Yes

Sleep: Off and on

Best moment this week: Joel feeling babe kick, the smile on his face was priceless

Movement: All the time
Food cravings: Chocolate

Gender: We will find out Sept. 15, less than a week to go
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In, but it is getting flatter
What I am looking forward to: Finding out the sex of this little one

Milestones: Hitting 24 weeks!!! Such a relief to know that if babe had to come anytime soon the chances of survival are great.

How I am Growing

A trip to the ER

2009-09-05T16:58:00.003-03:00

Well yesterday wasn't the greatest day. From the moment I arrived at work I felt very dizzy and disoriented, more so than normal pregnancy dizziness. After about 1 hour I went to see the employee nurse so check out my vitals and to her surprise my blood pressure was fine, although she didn't think I looked well at all and told me to go home. Being the stubborn person I am, as I hate leaving work for sick time I worked the rest of my shift. Towards the end of my shift I really wasn't doing well and decided to head up to the ER. I hadn't felt babe move in quite some time, so I was getting a little worried. Once there they check my vitals again, my blood pressure was actually down from before and did an ultrasound to see how babe was doing. Thankfully his/her little heart was beating and arms were moving. It took some time to get a picture of the heart so I was getting a little worried.

Next they tested my sugars and took a urine sample. My sugars were 3.2 which is pretty low I guess so I possibly have hypoglycemia. Urine sample was pretty good just showed positive for luekocytes, so possibly a UTI. Which I have never had in my life before.

The doctor was pretty dumb and left the room after telling me the results and just told me to carry fruit snacks for when I feel weak. So I have no real diagnosis and will have to call my Doc for a follow up on Tuesday.

I do think that it is hypoglycemia as I have been feeling dizzy off and on all week. It gets worse in the late morning and afternoon so I will really have to make sure I bring lots of snacks wherever I go.

23 weeks!!

2009-08-31T19:36:00.004-03:00

23 Weeks
How far along? 23 weeks 1 day
How big is Baby? just over a pound and a little more than 11 inches.
Total weight gain/loss: 8 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes I am now wearing them :)

Stretch marks? Yes

Sleep: Off and on

Best moment this week: Everyone telling me I am glowing, it must be because I am head over heels in love with this babe and so unbelievably happy.

Movement: All the time
Food cravings: None this week

Gender: We will find out Sept. 15, only 2 more weeks to go.
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In, but it is getting flatter
What I am looking forward to: Finding out the sex of this little one

Milestones: Feeling Babe having a dance party when DH and I were at a wedding this past weekend.

How I am Growing

22 Week Appt.

2009-08-29T09:13:00.003-03:00

On Thursday I had my 22 weeks appt. Everything is going perfectly!! We went over the u/s results and babe is measuring absolutely perfectly, only one day ahead. I love the fact that I charted as it gives a more accurate due date, even though little one may not actually come on that date. His or Her heart beat was the same as always 155 bpm. The next appt. I have in 4 weeks will be my glucose test, oh how fun that will be.

I am so unbelievably thankful for this baby and how healthy he or she is doing right now, in the past week a few of my fellow gpers have found out devastating news about their little one's. I cannot even begin to imagine how they are feeling or what they are going through. All I can do is offer prayers at this time and I ask that each of you do as well.

We truly are blessed with this baby as we were unsure if we would ever be blessed with one and now God is truly blessing us with its healthy growth and development. I thank him so much every day for all he has done for us as it truly is life's greatest miracle.

22 weeks

2009-08-29T09:08:00.002-03:00

I am really late with this one as I will be 23 weeks tomorrow but here is the survey, minus a picture

22 Weeks
How far along? 22 weeks 6 days
How big is Baby? 1 pound and is about 11 inches long
Total weight gain/loss: 6 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes I am now wearing them :)

Stretch marks? Yes about 3 all around my appendectomy scar.

Sleep: Off and on

Best moment this week: Feeling babe kick all the time.

Movement: Yes quite often now
Food cravings: None this week

Gender: We will find out Sept. 15, only 2 more weeks to go. Still feeling girl!
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In, but it is getting flatter
What I am looking forward to: Finding out the sex of this little one

Milestones: Seeing our little babe and feeling him or her all the time now.

21 weeks

2009-08-19T11:32:00.005-03:00

21 Weeks
How far along? 21 weeks 3 days
How big is Baby?3/4 of a pound and is about 10 1/2 inches long, the length of a carrot.
Total weight gain/loss: 4.5 lbs
Maternity clothes? I bought a bunch of tops this weekend and a pair of jeans, I'm sure I will be into them very soon.

Stretch marks? Yes one under my appendectomy scar.

Sleep: I don't sleep much

Best moment this week: Feeling babe kick all the time.

Movement: Yes quite often now
Food cravings: Pink Lemonade and peaches

Gender: We will find out Sept. 15, only 3 more weeks to go. Still feeling girl!
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In, but it is getting flatter
What I am looking forward to: Finding out the sex of this little one

Milestones: Seeing our little babe and feeling him or her all the time now.

How I am growing

How Baby Is Growing

20 weeks

2009-08-14T09:53:00.004-03:00

Well I am once again a slacker and I have no weekly picture again this week, which kind of disappoints me, hopefully I can take one today. I have been feeling really good this week, the dry heaves have finally left!! I am feeling more tired than usually and have started napping in the afternoons again.

It is also time to go shopping, my jeans are now getting tight so I much invest in some maternity jeans and my tops are getting much too short.

How far along? 20 weeks 5 days
How big is Baby? 10 1/2 ounces and is about 6 1/2 inches long, the length of a banana.
Total weight gain/loss: 3.5 lbs according to my scale
Maternity clothes? Going shopping for some this weekend, can't wait to get maternity jeans my reg are now tight and my tops are getting too small.
Stretch marks? Yes one under my appendectomy scar.

Sleep: I have been sleeping a bit more lately but my hips and knees get so sore, even with a pillow between my legs.

Best moment this week: Feeling babes kick all the time.

Movement: Yes quite often now
Food cravings: Pink Lemonade, I almost took a tantrum when the store was out of it, but I kept my cool and left the store still a sane person.

Gender: We will find out Sept. 15, only 4 more weeks to go. Still feeling girl!
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In, but it is getting flatter
What I am looking forward to: Finding out the sex of this little one
Weekly Wisdom: I didn't receive any this week
Milestones: Seeing our little babe

How Baby Is Growing

Story Time

2009-08-10T08:49:00.002-03:00

Every night before we go off to sleep, Joel has started reading to the baby. We wanted our little one to get more used to daddy's voice as it his mine he/she usually hears, we also want daddy and baby to have some bonding time. Well last night while Joel was reading our little jelly bean was getting so excited. I have never felt him/her moving around and kicking so much before. It was so cute, I kept putting Joel's hand over the spot where he/she kept kicking but he still couldn't feel them. I have no idea how he wasn't able to as these were the strongest kicks I have ever felt. I don't think it will be much longer before he is able to feel them.

I am just still so amazed over the fact we are having a baby, and how fast he/she is growing. I am absolutely loving this stage, where I can now feel most movements.

Our little one loves music, and story time the best. This is when I can feel the most movement. Usually when I get home from work I check emails and such while listening to various artists. So far Jeremy Camp is jelly bean's favorite artist, as soon as he comes on, little one starts dancing around. It is quite cute, and by far my favorite part of the day.

Baby S- First Photoshoot

2009-08-08T20:26:00.004-03:00

Due to the wild little munchkin not staying still long enough for a picture, we were only able to get two pictures, both of which are not the greatest quality. But I still think they are the most beautiful pictures I have ever seen and cannot stop looking at them.

A Boy?

2009-08-05T09:24:00.002-03:00

Well just in my dream there was. It was a very short dream, which continues to confuse me. Joel and I were in the hospital and the nurse said here is your beautiful baby girl and handed her to me, only it was not a her at all as it clearly had a penis. So this dream completely wraps up that everyone has been feeling girl and how shocked we will be when or if it is a boy. Which now after this I am starting to question it or not.

19 weeks

2009-08-04T08:50:00.004-03:00

So yesterday was our ultrasound and it was absolutely amazing. I was wiping my tears away the whole time. Our little one was measuring perfectly for everything its heart was beating so fast, that was probably my favorite part. Seeing each chamber of the heart pumping out blood and each chamber doing what it was suppose at 156 bpm. The tech said I am measuring about 1-2 days ahead so my due date could possibly be the 26 or 27th of Dec.

We definitely have one active little one, he/she was doing flip flops the whole time making it very difficult to get measured and take any pictures. I think we only ended up with two pictures. I think we may have our hands full when this little one gets here. Unfortunately we were not able to find out the sex, somebody was not cooperating and kept their legs closed much of the time. So we couldn't get a final verdict. That means we are in suspense for another 6 weeks when we go do a 3D ultrasound. I guess I can wait it out a bit longer.

19 weeks
How far along? 19 weeks 3 days
Total weight gain/loss: 5 lbs according to my scale
Maternity clothes? still in some maternity pants, but I wore a pair of my reg jeans yesterday and they still fit!!
Stretch marks? Yes a tiny little one under my appendectomy scar.

Sleep: I sleep about 2hour stretches and then it is pee time.

Best moment this week: Our Ultrasound Yesterday

Movement: Yes I am feeling more flutters and little pops lately.
Food cravings: None in the last week really

Gender: Feeling strongly about a Girl, so much so that they will have to tell me several times if it is a boy.
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In
What I am looking forward to: Finding out the sex of this little one
Weekly Wisdom: I didn't receive any this week
Milestones: Seeing our little babe

How I am growing

I feel huge in this picture, when I wake up my belly is a good size and by the evening I almost double, hence this picture.

How Baby Is Growing

18 weeks

2009-07-29T09:13:00.004-03:00

Well I have been a major slacker in posting. I completely missed my 17 week belly pic and still have not taken an 18 week one. I will try tonight.

Yesterday we had our 18 week appointment and it went great. The heartbeat was a strong and fast as could be and was measuring around 155bpm. What a beautiful sound.
According to the Dr's scale I lost 5 lbs since the last time I was in but according to my scale I finally gained weight, a whole 1.5 lbs. So I am not quite sure which to believe. The doctor wasn't concerned as my belly is growing and said everything seemed fine.

We go for our ultrasound in less than a week. I cannot wait to see this beautiful little person who has been growing inside of me for the last 4.5 months.

I am feel pretty good overall, still get the dry heaves often and this humidity and heat have really been doing a number on me, but overall I am great.

How far along? 18 weeks 2 days
Total weight gain/loss: either gained 1.5 lbs(my scale) lost 5 lbs ( dr's)

Maternity clothes? Pants, still no shirts yet but I will have to by some soon.
Stretch marks? Yes a tiny little one under my appendectomy scar.

Sleep: Aww sleep, this is getting difficult. It is hot, sticky, my sciatic nerve is killing me and sometimes I wake up with very sore hips. Then there is the peeing 4 X a night. I am thinking it is just getting me used to no sleep now, which I will likely be thankful for.

Best moment this week: Hearing our little jelly bean's heart beat again, 155 beats of pure love.

Movement: Yes I am feeling more flutters and little pops lately.
Food cravings: Not too many, still strawberry shortcake.

Gender: Feeling strongly about a Girl, so much so that they will have to tell me several times if it is a boy.
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In
What I am looking forward to: our ultrasound on August 3rd and feeling the baby kick more
Weekly Wisdom: Enjoy every moment, as it goes by so fast.
Milestones: Buying our stroller and carseat!!!

How Baby is Growing

A Stretchmark?

2009-07-17T20:02:00.002-03:00

Well last night I was laying on the couch and was complaining to Joel how itchy my lower right abdomin was, so I look down and right underneath my scar from my appendix was a deep red line running vertically. I almost feel off of the couch. I was in complete and udder shock. I first thought it was a bug bite, there is no way I could have one this early is there. But yes, yes I can because this sucker is there and is in no way going to be going. So I will cherish this one little stretchy for the time being and lather him up with lots of cream, in hopes he stays little and in hopes that he will be one of few. A girl can dream right?

16 weeks

2009-07-15T09:09:00.004-03:00

How far along? 16 weeks 2 days
Total weight gain/loss: none
Maternity clothes? I am now sporting them
Stretch marks? one tiny one on my boob, but it was there before it has now reddened again.

Sleep: when I sleep in between pee breaks
Best moment this week: My aunt coming home last night with 3 hockey bags full of girl clothes from newborn to 3 years, and a bag of maternity clothes. I don't even know where we will put it all, but let's hope this baby is a girl now.

Movement: I have only felt one little kick
Food cravings: hmmm, not too many in the last week. Although I am loving chocolate again.

Gender: I'm still feeling girl, but the last few days I have been thinking what if it is a boy

Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In
What I am looking forward to: our ultrasound on August 3rd and feeling the baby kick
Weekly Wisdom: Enjoy every moment, as it goes by so fast.
Milestones: feeling baby S kick once

How I am growing

Well there is definitely a baby bump there now, I love it
Please don't mind my scary white legs, they have not seen the sun in a year, yikes.

How Baby is Growing

Watch what you say... tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean the little one can now pick up your voice. Eyebrows, lashes and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming

My new Mommy Do'

2009-07-07T17:10:00.004-03:00

as Joel likes to call it.

The last few weeks I have been getting really tired of my hair. It was long, dried out and when I would run my hands through it I could pull out a handful of hair, yuck! Pregnancy sure is picking on my hair. So yesterday I decided to call up my hair stylist and pay her a visit. She was shocked when I told her what I wanted done as it has been well over 3 years since I have had short hair, but she was super excited to chop it all off.

I am quite pleased with the end result, although I will eventually miss my new do', I am loving it short. Joel is loving it too, he was grinning ear to ear when he picked me up.

Before

After

15 weeks

2009-07-07T16:56:00.004-03:00

How far along? 15 weeks 1 day
Total weight gain/loss: none
Maternity clothes? I started wearing them this week!! So comfy
Stretch marks? not yet
Sleep: I get up about twice to pee
Best moment this week: I felt a little pop, although it is likely still a bit early to be a kick it was quit exciting to know they will be coming soon.
Movement: see above
Food cravings: pink lemonade
Gender: Not sure yet, I'm still feeling girl
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In
What I am looking forward to: our ultrasound on August 3rd and feeling the baby kick
Weekly Wisdom: Rest!!
Milestones: completion of the first trimester

How I am Growing

, I feel really huge right now, and it is still some bloat as my belly gets bigger as the day goes on

14 weeks

2009-06-30T10:46:00.002-03:00

How far along? 14 weeks 1 day
Total weight gain/loss: none
Maternity clothes? not yet
Stretch marks? not yet
Sleep: I had a good sleep last night, only got up once
Best moment this week: Having loads of energy
Movement: none yet
Food cravings: Orange juice,brownies
Gender: Not sure yet
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In
What I am looking forward to: our ultrasound on August 3rd
Weekly Wisdom: Rest as much as you can whenever you need it
Milestones: completion of the first trimester

How I am growing

Definitely starting to see a little something, even though some is still bloat

13 weeks

2009-06-24T09:19:00.003-03:00

How far along? 13 weeks 3 days
Total weight gain/loss: up 1 lb
Maternity clothes? not yet
Stretch marks? not yet
Sleep: not the greatest
Best moment this week: Hearing our baby's heart beat yesterday, 155-160bpm
Movement: none yet
Food cravings: Orange juice, strawberries dipped in chocolate
Gender: Not sure yet
Labor Signs: no way
Belly Button in or out? In
What I am looking forward to: our ultrasound on August 3rd
Weekly Wisdom: Rest as much as you can whenever you need it
Milestones: completion of the first trimester

12 weeks!!

2009-06-19T09:04:00.003-03:00

I am really late with this one, it has been crazy busy around here with me starting a new job and working crazy hours. Also Joel just found out yesterday that today will be his last day of work. Apparently the job they were suppose to get fell through and since he is one of the newest employees he had to be laid off along with a few others.

Please pray that he finds something else very very soon, as my job does not have guaranteed hours yet so I am a bit worried about finances.

Now onto out little one.... I am feeling really good this week. Finally getting my energy back, YAY!!! My pants are still fitting, although I doubt it will be too long before I outgrow them, as the bloat gets bigger every day it seems.

How your baby's growing:
The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.

Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce.

Wow little one, the size of a lime!! You sure are getting big. Keep up the great work :)

My First Belly Post

2009-06-18T17:33:00.005-03:00

So I first took a belly pic at 5 weeks because I thought at the time that I was really bloated, not so much. I took my second belly picture at 12 weeks and wow!! Is that bloat or what.

5 weeks

12 weeks, excuse the crappy ugly bathroom

August 3rd!!

2009-06-12T16:05:00.000-03:00

Is the date of our big ultrasound. I cannot wait :)
Only 8 more weeks to go.

Birth Prediction

2009-06-11T11:55:00.002-03:00

Madame Zaritska, using her mystical powers, has the following prediction:

The day you deliver, outside will be warm. Your baby will arrive in the late afternoon. After a labor lasting approximately 4 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 11 pounds, 15 ounces, and will be 17 inches long. This child will have dark green eyes and fluffy auburn hair.

**Well seeing how I am due at the end of Dec I can't imagine it will be warm out. I also am expecting a labor closer to 20 hours and predicting that our baby will weigh 8 lbs 1 oz and will be 20.5 inches long. She very well can have dark green eyes and auburn hair though if she looks anything like her mommy.

mmm mmm Good!!

2009-06-10T16:42:00.002-03:00

So today I went grocery shopping, not the best thing today when you are hungry as this is what I bought:

Graham wafer crackers
mashmellows
chocolate chips

Strawberries
Chocolate

Nacho chips

So the next few nights I see myself eating smores, chocolate dipped strawberries and I already got into the nachos, So yummy!! I can't wait, I suspect I will gain those 3 lbs back right away.

But too be good I got chocolate milk, chicken breast, corn, cauliflower, peppers, pineapple, cantaloupe, oranges and of course mini wheats. So I will be eating healthy 80% of the time.

11 weeks

2009-06-09T11:32:00.003-03:00

I am still feeling great, no m/s so I think it is safe to say I won't be getting it, phew. I am still feeling quite tired and the last two nights went to bed at 8 pm and 9 pm.

I had an appt with the nurse yesterday to check my weight, BP, and do some bloodwork.

So far I am still down 3 lbs, yay! I was hoping I wouldn't gain too much in the 1st tri and my BP is 120/80, which is a bit higher than it usually is but she said that is normal and it is at a normal level so no need to worry yet.

My appt. with the doctor got bumped so now we won't be seeing him until June 23rd, we will hear the heartbeat here and set up an appt for our 18-20 week ultrasound. How exciting!!!

I can't believe I am almost out of first tri!!

Next week I will have to start taking belly pics :)

Our Baby This Week

Your baby, just over 1 1/2 inches long and about the size of a fig, is now almost fully formed. Her hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under her gums, and some of her bones are beginning to harden.

She's already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so effortless they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. You won't feel your baby's acrobatics for another month or two nor will you notice the hiccupping that may be happening now that her diaphragm is forming.

10 weeks

2009-06-03T09:57:00.003-03:00

Well the fatigue is starting to let up a little bit, which is great seeing how I spent all of last week on the couch. Our Families all know now, everyone is beyond excited especially our grandmothers. So overall I am feeling great, I meet with the nurse this Friday to get blood work and such done, and then in another week and a half we meet with the doctor for the first time and here we will hear the heartbeat. I cannot wait.

Our Baby This week

Though he's barely the size of a kumquat a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby has now completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature.

He's swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac)are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy.

If you could take a peek inside your womb, you'd spot minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing) and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin.

In other developments: Your baby's limbs can bend now. His hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. The outline of his spine is clearly visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from his spinal cord. Your baby's forehead temporarily bulges with his developing brain and sits very high on his head, which measures half the length of his body. From crown to rump, he's about 1 1/4 inches long. In the coming weeks, your baby will again double in size to nearly 3 inches.

Our Baby Names

2009-06-01T16:17:00.002-03:00

Well last week Joel and I finally decided on our names, we had both of these names picked out for well the last 2-3 years but we were unsure of middle names until now.

And our names are:

Sadie Elizabeth and Liam Thomas

My dad informs me that my grandmother will have a heart attack when she hears our little boys name as it is an Irish Catholic name and well we are Irish Protestant. Maybe it won't be as big of a deal as she is over the moon excited. This isn't her first great grandchild but the previous ones weren't born in the best of situations so she found it hard to be excited. She loves Joel and I to death though and informed me last night that this baby will bring so much happiness and this will be the best time of our lives.

How true is that, babies do bring such happiness and this truly will be the best time of our lives.

First Baby Dream

2009-05-29T10:43:00.002-03:00

Well this was quite the dream. So far this pregnancy I have been calling our little bean a she or her, no idea why that is just what comes out without even thinking about it and when I picture our baby I picture a girl. Either why I would love either sex. Well the other night I dreamt that I was laying in the hospital bed after labor and delivery and everything is over. I am laying there, the roomed is filled with my family and Joel is nowhere to be found as we haven't got a hold of him yet, he was at work. So apparently I delivered the baby myself and am now surrounded by 15 people, whom are my family but my husband hasn't even seen HIM yet. Yes it was a boy, a beautiful baby boy with very little light colored hair and blue eyes and he was I am going to say close to 15 pounds as my uncle who was holding him set him on the floor and he started crawling to his grandma.

So many weird things in this story,
1st- light colored hair? I will be so shocked, as I was born with a full head of dark hair as was DH, in fact I had to have my first haircut when I was 3 months old thats how much hair I had.
2nd- Blue eyes? My eyes are green and Joel's are the darkest brown, of course we can get a blue eyed baby, I know how genetics works but I just find it funny
3rd- 15 lbs, are you kidding me, I would die and he can crawl right after coming out of me, Crazy!!
4th- Where the heck was Joel, there is no way he wouldn't be able to make it from work he works 30 mins away.

** So on to my dream the next night, I dreamed we had a beautiful dark haired baby girl who was a perfect size and swaddled in a pink blanket.

My mind is really playing tricks on me

9 weeks

2009-05-27T13:31:00.003-03:00

It is hard to believe we are already 9 weeks. It is so exciting, even more exciting because our baby actually now looks like a baby. I cannot believe the changes our little one has gone through. It really is the most miraculous thing on earth, what a blessing from God, so much so that I need to thank him for this blessing several times a day. We are just so unbelievably greatful.

This week I am so tired, thankfully I am no longer working at the moment, because I have spent the last four days going from the couch to the kitchen to the computer. I am so tired, but I couldn't be more happy as jelly bean is going through a big growth spurt the last 2 weeks. I am also very bloated now, I can't even hid it anymore but my pants still seem to fit, which I am thankful for.

Our Baby at 9 Weeks

-Baby is beginning to move, but you won't be able to feel anything for some time.
-Baby is growing nipples and hair follicles (although there's still a chance you'll be giving birth to a baldy!) * There is a very slim chance of this as I had my first hair cute at 3 months old.

-His pancreas, gallbladder, bile ducts and anus are all in place, ready to poop and pee a dozen times a day when he's born.
-Your baby's head is half the size of his body and his little chin is tucked into his chest. His tiny tail is beginning to shrink away, giving Junior a more human and less amphibious look.
-Until now, all pre-babies look the same "down there." This week, however, your baby will begin to develop either male or female genitalia. In layman terms, your baby is beginning to develop her hoo-ha or his wee-wee. While you won't be able to find out the gender of your baby for several more weeks, the version you'll give birth to is being developed right now.
-At this stage, your developing fetus is 1-inch in length, about the size of a martini olive (you remember martinis, don't you?) and weighs a mere 2 grams—a little less than a penny.

8 Weeks

2009-05-20T14:32:00.003-03:00

Well I haven't updated in quite some time, it has been pretty hectic here the last few weeks. It is hard to believe we are 8 weeks already, the last month just flew right by. Let's hope this month does the same because I cannot wait to get out of 1st tri.

I am feeling great, The nauseousness I had stopped around week 6 so now the only symptom I have is major fatigue and getting up to pee through the night. Also I get so dehydrated during the night that I need to bring water to bed with me.

We still haven't told Joel's parents but will be doing so on May 30th. He wanted to tell them in person and this is the first time we will see them. I am a little nervous as to what their reaction will be as well as what his sister and her husbands reaction will be as apparently they are suppose to have kids next. I just pray they will at least be happy to his face.

I have no bloat pictures yet as I am not really showing much of anything that you would be able to see, I am a little bloated but it is hidden by shirts and pants, yes my pants still fit. This is crazy to me as at 5 weeks I went out and bought a maternity skirt, capri's and jeans as I was so bloated then but now I am not. Oh well I will get my use out of them soon enough.

Jelly Bean is right now the size of Eva Longoria's Engagement ring, pretty funny comparison. It blows my mind how much he/she has grown in the last month. It is so exciting.

Baby Presents

2009-05-07T11:01:00.007-03:00

This baby is so loved already. Yesterday I went shopping with my mom and she bought little jelly bean a blanket, face clothes and a few books.

Also alma1107(BFPB) sent us the most adorable things, they are so cute and we love them.

Here is Finley guarding the baby stuff, right before he took off with the face clothes.

Morning Sickness has hit!!

2009-05-04T11:32:00.002-03:00

Well I was kind of hoping I would skip this altogether but I am not so lucky. I flew home on Saturday and felt horrible the whole way. One flight was 3.5 hours and the second was 1.5 hours and man was I sick. I didn't throw up but I felt like it the whole time. I called Joel crying after the first flight because I didn't even want to get onto it. M/S is bad enough when you are in an open environment but when you are hot and dizzy and feel like at any moment you are going to lose it is horrible when there are 100 other people within inches and feet of you. The plane could have seriously crashed and I would probably not have noticed. I have never been so relieved to be home and off of a plane in my life before. Joel and Finley were super excited to see me, especially Finley. As soon as he saw me coming to the car he was going crazy jumping everywhere, he then smothered me in kisses, such a cutie!!

We skipped church yesterday as I knew there was no way I would be able to sit through 2 hours, afterwards we went to mom and dad's for lunch. I was feeling great up until the afternoon when m/s hit again so we went home and I spent the rest of the afternoon/evening on the couch. So so far no vomiting just an strong feeling of nauseau and like I will be sick.

So far Jelly Bean hates:

all food, especially fast food and sweets
my beloved pizza, oh how I miss you
and water!!

Jelly Bean likes:

Corn pops, I have eaten a box since Saturday night
popsicles
What a healthy baby I have!!

2009-05-01T12:03:00.002-03:00

Well I haven't updated in a few days. I have been on vacay with my mom shopping, and relaxing. It has been a great time. I have done quite a bit of shopping, a bit too much actually but I do need new clothes as my bloat is starting to really come on and make my pants uncomfortable. Today is our last day here and tomorrow we will be flying home, 6 hours, arghhh. I told my mom I wish there was a faster way to flying and she burst out laughing but on the way up here I was really feeling awful and being on a plane makes it so much worse.

Joel is getting pretty lonely, well I think he has been since day one. He hasn't even slept in the bed the whole time I have been gone. He said it is too weird sleeping in there without me, so he has been camping out on the couch. Only one more day and I will be home to my own bed, and my two boys. I can't wait.

As far a little jellybean goes, things are going really well. I am getting tired, and if I don't have a nap in the afternoon, I usually fall asleep before 9:30. Also I am beginning to feel a bit nauseous in the evenings or if there are strong smells. This was pretty evident last night when I got in a cab and the cabby was well, let's just say not smelling the freshest. I had to put the window all the way down and pretty much stick my head out of it. Thankfully it was only a 10 minute ride. Let's hope this doesn't progress into full blown m/s.

Interesting!!

2009-04-27T12:23:00.003-03:00

Well yesterday after church Joel and I went to my parent's for lunch. Although mom was away dad said he was BBQ steak and to come over. Well when we got there he was busy getting everything ready and then said I saw Pastor Br**** over the weekend(he was our old pastor when I was a kid) and pretty sure he was on some good drugs. I said well why on earth would you say that about a pastor and dad was like well he said Congrats on becoming a grandfather. My dad was like um you must be wrong, I am not going to be a grandfather. It was then that Pastor B said oh my goodness I am so sorry I made a mistake. Well I couldn't even believe this, I was like well dad he may have made a mistake but you are going to be a grandfather. He freaked out and was so excited and kept asking over and over if I was serious. I am still shocked that Pastor B said that to him as he would have had no idea, the only people who knew before dad was my BFF who doesn't even know him. Crazy!!

Well after lunch I started feeling pretty nauseaus. Great, m/s starts and I have to fly out in a few hours. Well we went to shoppers and got me some saltine's without salt for my flight. The first flight (2 hours) was pretty rough. I was eating those and sipping on ginger ale. By the time my next flight came I was feeling a lot better , however it was 4 hours and I didn't sleep a wink. I was so tired when I landed.

Well as soon as mom and I got back to the hotel, I said I have a present for you and dad told me to video tape your reaction because he figured it would make you cry. She was like why on earth would you get me a present and I said just open it. So she is opening it and then her jaw dropped and she was like oh my goodness are you PREGNANT?? I said yes and she immediately freaked out. She was so excited and said she cannot wait to go shopping for little jelly bean.

Well mom had to go off to work this morning and when I woke up she had a little note written of how she is so blessed, and that she cannot put it into words but she loves me so much and is so proud of me. She also said she loves our precious son or daughter already and that she cannot wait to hold them in her arms.

My parents are going to make the most amazing grandparents and I cannot wait :)

Well now I am off to go get a massage or pedicure, can't decide yet but I am leaning towards pedicure. I don't think I could lay on my boobs for an hour. Yes they are sore, and yes they have already grew an inch(YIKES). I am in trouble.

Time To Tell Mama

2009-04-26T08:19:00.001-03:00

A few weeks ago my mom bought me a trip to Edmonton to meet her there for a week of shopping and relaxing. She flew up for business on Wednesday and today I am going to meet her. While there I am going to be telling her our great news, I feel really bad that I have to tell her and my dad separately but there is no way I would be able to hide it from her for a full week.

So this is how I decided to tell her, I made this, this morning and I think it is the cutest thing ever, although I am a little biased.

I am feeling good overall, If I didn't miss my period I would have no idea I was pregnant at all. I am not really tired anymore and my bloat has slowly gone away, I am not peeing anymore than normal either. Yesterday morning I did wake up at 4:45 am and was starving and felt a bit sick so I went out the kitchen and got a granola bar. So there I was, sitting in bed, in the dark eating my granola bar. Joel thought it was the funniest thing ever. Other than being hungry all the time, I feel great. I POAS again this morning because it still doesn't seem real. It came back positive yet again, so hopefully it will sink in soon.

Hmmm...

2009-04-24T15:50:00.002-03:00

I am just over the moon excited that we got our BFP. Thank you God, you answered our prayers at the most perfect time. It is hard to believe that we are finally expecting. I am still having trouble believing it. I don't know if this is normal or not but I feel like I am going to wake up one morning and it will all be over with. I guess this might be because I have little symptoms. I am not even peeing a lot which everyone apparently has. Don't get me wrong I am thankful I don't have them yet but I guess I am just nervous. I am sure this feelings will pass with time. Please tell me I am normal for feeling like this? Or is it completely crazy?

The PIP

2009-04-22T14:14:00.001-03:00

I don't have a digital on hand and am way too tired to go out and get one so I will do that tomorrow, just to see the word Pregnant but for now here is the $ test

The Best Day

2009-04-22T08:53:00.003-03:00

Yesterday was by far the best day of my life.

First Finley and I went for a walk on the boardwalk with my good friend Jenna. It was then that she broke the news she was 3 1/2 months pregnant. I almost started to cry right then but I was so happy for her and Marc. We then went back to her house and had some lunch while we talked about being pregnant having babies and how amazing it would be to be on maternity leave together.

Well after getting home I was pretty tired but we were having a friend of ours for supper so I had to prepare everything and clean the house up a bit. I was also feeling a bit nauseaus but chalked it up AF arriving shortly.

Well fast forward to around 5:00pm, the phone rang, Joel answered and than gave the phone to me. It was my doctor calling, this was weird as her office closes at 3:30pm. She says Amanda I got your tests back and I wanted you to know the results right away, are you sitting down?

I responded with yes and that is when she proceeded to tell me that the my pregnancy test came back POSITIVE!!!

That's right, We are PREGNANT!!!

Well she gave me the little lecture of what not to do in the next week since I can't get into see her until after my trip but she was so happy for us.

after hanging up I immediately went out to Joel who was doing the dishes and just hugged him from behind, all while I was sobbing.

He was wondering what was up and once I could finally get the words out I said " Your Going to be a Daddy." He was in just as much shock as I was and kept asking really? over and over. It was such an amazing moment and not how I planned to tell him at all but it was perfect.

Baby S is due Dec. 28,2009. Please stick little one and grow to be a healthy baby. We love you so much already.

Doctor's Update

2009-04-21T07:53:00.002-03:00

Overall my appointment went really well, I was there for over an hour though but just because she wanted to check everything.

First she wanted a urine sample to send to the lab to rule out pregnancy and UTI. Well I told her there is absolutely no way I am pregnant because my temp has been dropping for the last few days but she wanted to rule it out anyway.I gave her this months chart at the time for her to few it. She then did an internal exam and took samples in case it was a vaginal infection while doing this she checked my ovaries and said they felt good but I would need an ultrasound to see if there are any cysts.

So I get my results back on Weds and then we will go from there.

After all this,she looked at my chart some more and was really interested as she has never saw one before and that is when she said she would really like to start the workup for testing. She said that since we have basically been having unprotected sex and charting since August and trying since before than she felt it was time. Also she leaves on maternity leave in June and wanted to have all my bloodwork and such done so she can give me a referral before then.

I am really excited about this, it feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. So Joel goes in on Friday and has a physical at this time he will be requesting a SA and then I go in CD 18 - 24 do do my first round of blood tests where they will test my progesterone levels.

So take a look at my chart, I have no idea what to think anymore. I was convinced AF would be here today or tomorrow but after this mornings temp I have no idea. Kinda crazy for it to take a jump that high the day before AF but I am sure that is what will happen. Tomorrow will likely be a huge temp drop, just one last thing to throw me off.

Emotional Day

2009-04-20T10:25:00.004-03:00

Well yesterday was quite the day. I woke up around 5:50 am, which was bit early for a Sunday but I had gone to bed at 9:00 pm because I was so tired and in pain and the best thing was bed. So I temped in the morning and my temperature was done yet again, I expected that, I know cycle #10 is done it is just dragging it out. So I got up, had a shower, made a a flourless cake for my aunt's birthday party in the afternoon. She has celiac, hence the flour free cake. Then I watch Coronation Street for about an hour and got up to start breakfast and sat down to eat with Joel. So overall my morning was great until about 10:00am when we went to church.

So I am in church worshiping God and all of a sudden feel my emotions get the best of me and do everything I can to hold them in and not break down in tears. This went on for about 4 songs when our Pastor got up and said there are people in here right now that need prayers. Raise your hand if you need one. I knew I did but there was no way I was raising my hand as I would lose it and break down crying. Well they played another song and at this time people were praying for others and along came a women in our church and said she really feels God is telling her to pray for me. I immediately broke down and started bawling. I really don't know why, I wasn't sad about this cycle ending like the others. I just feel numb. Obviously I was doing a good job at avoiding my emotions and filing them as far away as I could. I am really happen this happened as I felt so good after she prayed and I got it all out. Although the poor women has no idea what I was crying for she just knows I needed prayer and will continue to do so. It feels nice to know God was there and knew I needed the encouragement and that he is always there, I just don't always turn to him for help in the beginning.

I can't even imagine what the congregation thought was going on. I am usually a really bubbly, happy person so it must have been a shock to see.

Moving on to the afternoon, it was a great day. We had a family gathering for all the April birthday's. We do this every month as our family is about 35 people so we have quite a few birthdays and it is easier to celebrate them together. We had a wonderful meal of stuffed pork chops, whipped mashed potatoes, turnip casserole and broccoli salad. With 5 assortments of cakes to top it all off. It was a wonderful time to spend with family.

After our lovely afternoon Joel, myself, my mom, two aunts, uncle and several cousins went back to our church as we were hosting the Watoto Children's Choir. They were absolutely amazing. If you ever have the chance to check them out I highly encourage you to do so. These children were once all AIDS orphans in Uganda and are now living for God by touring the world and ministering to people through song and dance. However right now they have 8 homes waiting in Uganda to take children off the streets and give them good homes but due to our financial instability in North American they do not have the money to do so. In order to take a child in they need to be sponsored. This only costs $35 a month or $440 a year. Which really is pocket change. That is less than one coffee a day, how can one not afford that when in reality we spend much more than that on useless things during the day.

I really encourage anyone who is interested to look up this missions group. Watoto.com as it truly is a wonderful thing to be involved in.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__7amqM8hzQ

Soon to End

2009-04-19T06:57:00.003-03:00

Well I am now 13 DPO and my temp has been dropping for the last two days. Cycle #10 is now coming to an end. It hurts, I am not going to lie. Moving on to cycle #11 is scary seeing how it is only 1 away from the dreaded 1 year mark when all the testing begins.

I am not too sure how this month will go as I am going away for a week and will get back two days before estimated O time(16 DPO). I have O'd on this day for most of my cycles so hopefully it will stay this way and not change. I am looking really forward to this trip. My mom is going away for business and is taking me along free of charge as she knows how much I need to relax and have a week full of me time. So I will be shopping, getting pampered, sightseeing, and chilling with my mom for the week. I am quite excited. Hopefully Joel and Finley will fare okay when I am gone.

On another note: I will be going in to see my doctor tomorrow as I have been having really bad lower abdominal pain accompanied with back pain for the last week. I have had this pain for the last month but it was more of a dull ache that has now progress.

My diagnosis: a cyst
Dr's diagnosis: We shall soon see

The Climb

2009-04-17T12:41:00.006-03:00

So this song basically sums up how I have been feeling lately. I can almost see it, that dream I'm dreaming but there's a voice inside my head saying you'll never reach it. My faith is shaking and there are some days I just want to give up but we have got to keep trying and as hard as it is got to keep our heads up. Our time will soon come and all the troubles will be so worth it. It seems like it has been so long since we started all this and I never imagined it would take this long. I didn't think it would happen on cycle #1 but there is no way I thought it would be 10 + cycles.

Miley Cyrus..The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreamin but
there's a voice inside my head sayin
you'll never reach it
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shacking but I
I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

[Chorus]
there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
ain't about how fast I get there
ain't about what waitin on the other side
it's the climb

The struggles I'm facin
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breakin
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
it's all about, it's all about
The climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

I hate the 1ww

2009-04-15T09:50:00.002-03:00

From the time I was two my mom told me I was very impatient. Joel tells me this all the time. This characteristic is not a good one to have when you are TTC. Especially when you have symptoms you don't usually have. I am a sucker for playing into them and I usually end up disappointed. I really hope this time is different, but it will probably just end up being a fluke of some sort. I no longer think I will be pregnant at the end of each cycle. I have become a pessimist I suppose. Which I think I do more to protect myself but with that being said I am really praying this is it for us. If it isn't than we will only be one month away from the year mark and that really freaks me out.

Currently I am 9 DPO with an ugly chart, crazy cramping, tender breasts and fatigue(although this could be due to the busy schedule I have had around finals.

I am not sure when I will test if I do this cycle or if I will wait it out. If I do I will likely give in around 13 DPO(Sun), that is usually the day I lose my will power. Thank goodness for $ PG tests.

I am bad at this

2009-04-13T10:08:00.002-03:00

I haven't blogged in quite a while, I have been so busy with school. I am happy to say I have one final left to write tomorrow and then I will be done of my undergrad degree. I cannot wait. Now I have lots of time to stay at home with a baby if I ever get one.

I am now in the 1 week wait. The first week flew by with no trouble at all. Now to just get through this last week.

I had a nice temp drop yesterday accompanied with sore BB's and slight cramps today. Which is quite early. I am praying it is a good sign and that it was implantation.

Updates

2009-03-31T11:27:00.002-03:00

Well this cycle I have been more than relaxed, I rarely temp which I am sure I will hate later on but for now it seems right and it is much more relaxing. Last night I noticed small amounts of EWCM. Seems a bit early for it but I will totally take it. Today I have been having cramps off and on, whatever that means. I am starting to think I may have a cyst on my right side which will likely make it a bit hard to determine O pain. I have been monitoring this new development and likely will wait it out a bit more, unless the pain intensifies. Right now it is more like a dull/burning feeling that gets worse when my bladder is full, I lay on my side or when I exercise.

On the exercise front. I lost 4 lbs last week, and today is day one of marathon training. I am a little scared as to what I will feel like tomorrow. Wish me luck :)

Cycle #10

2009-03-23T15:53:00.002-03:00

Well a year has past since we first started TTC but only 10 cycles. It was quite hard to think about that over the weekend. The month we first started TTC, Joel's brother and his wife started trying for their third and got KU their first month. They now have a beautiful 5 month old. It is quite crazy to think I could have had a 5 month old by now but I haven't even gotten PG yet.

On a good note, I didn't cry over it this cycle. I think I am done crying over it, which is good I guess. I am slowly becoming more bitter though.

I have decided I need to put my mind on something else and made the decision yesterday that I will start training for a half marathon. The marathon is at the end of October so I have a little over 6 months to get in shape for this. I have always wanted to run a marathon and what better time than now. If I do happen to get KU before than, then I will obviously not continue with this but in the mean time I think it will be great to get my mind of TTC and give me something else to look forward too.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

2009-03-17T16:23:00.005-03:00

Well I wanted to wish everyone a very happy St. Patty's day. I won't be able to celebrate tonight as I have too much work to get done but that is okay.

about my cycle:

After a temp drop the day before my temp rose today, I really wish this was a good sign but I am very skeptical. I have also been getting cramps today, so I am starting to convince myself that this is not our cycle.

Tough Day

2009-03-09T14:40:00.002-03:00

Well I woke up this morning and decided to take the day off from school. I really have so much work to do and at the top of my list is a 10 page paper that is due tomorrow. I had 2 pages done as off last night. I had phoned my boss from last summer in hopes of getting back on and working there this summer. The deadline for the application was March 31,2009 but apparently they already have all of their interviews booked. This really pisses me off, If I had of know that I would have applied earlier. Why would you say the deadline is March 31,2009 when it is only the first week of March and you have everything already booked. I am quite upset as it was my favorite job, EVER, and I really wanted to do it again this summer. So then I got a little depressed, and then fearful as now what am I going to do. I graduate University in 1 month and I have nothing lined up, I also have no time for the next 3 weeks to try and line anything up. I am a little worried. So now here I am trying to get this stupid paper done. I now have 5 pages, I am halfway there.

What I have to do this week:

1. write a 10 page paper on Food service Management
2. write a 10 page paper on DHA in Children's brain development
3. put together my children's book
4. finish my tutorial on cystinuria
5. Put together my turtorial
6. Finish staff evalutations
7. Write a paper on my detailed program plan
8. Read the book The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe
9. I am quite sure I have left out a few more things, arghh

Free Giveaway

2009-03-06T12:07:00.004-04:00

One of my fellow GP'ers designs super cute earrings and sells them on Etsy.com. They are very reasonably priced and super cute. Check out her blog finding the link on the right hand side of mine, The Lucky Mrs. T. She is even giving away a free pair, but hurry the deadline is March 10!!

Finley's Afternoon Walk

2009-03-05T14:23:00.007-04:00

Finley and I went on a quick walk this afternoon because it is -25 degrees out and it was very icy. Here are a few pictures:

Finley taking it all in

A poor tree after the ice storm

A view of our road

Frustrated

2009-03-05T09:12:00.002-04:00

I am so frustrating with Joel. I believe I O'd today and we have not had sex since Sunday. Monday- he was too tired, Tuesday- he wanted to do it after hockey so he wouldn't tire himself out, I'm pretty sure you would be more tired after playing a hockey game but anyway. He promised he would be home at 11 and that we wouldn't do it than, at 11:30 he was still not home so I went to bed. At 12:30 he wakes me up saying he was home, I was so pissed and beyond tired and he stunk from playing hockey, by the time he was out of the shower I was asleep again. Than last night I said we really need to I have EWCM and I am pretty sure I am going to O soon so he says yah okay once the hockey game is over I will come to bed. Well I was super exhausted and went to bed a little after 10pm because I had class from 8:30-3:00 than a meeting until 4 and than I worked until 9:30. So I had a long day, I just wanted to cuddle with him and have sex and go to bed and all I got was go to bed. He came to bed long after I had and I was asleep. This morning I said it is really important that we do it, his response: I only have 20 mins to get ready, I said well get yourself ready while in the shower that way when you come out you are ready to go, that didn't happen. He got ready to go and left me there feeling frustrated and ready to cry. It makes me so upset, he knows how important it is and it seems like this week it isn't important to him. I asked him what is wrong and he said nothing and just blames stuff on everything else. GRRR

Woot!!

2009-03-02T14:47:00.001-04:00

3 lbs lost last week, I had really hoped for four but I will take the 3lbs.

An Update..

2009-03-01T22:27:00.002-04:00

Just a little update about my brother. He is doing well, finally out of bed. He hasn't left the house yet but he feels quite a bit better today and his pain is starting to ease up. Thank you Lord, for his amazing blessing.

Well I am gearing up to O, I have had O pains today and wet CM, I am hoping I get some EWCM starting tomorrow.

I am so thankful

2009-02-27T10:22:00.002-04:00

My mom called me late last night after I got home from work around 10pm to inform that my brother had been in a bad snowmobile accident in the early morning. He was coming home from a ride with some friends when two of them stopped at the top of the hill to wait for the other two. They were waiting for a while so decided to turn around and go back to find them. It was a blind hill and as my brother was going over the ledge to head down he was hit by one of his friends. We were told that he flew in the air and rolled until coming to a stop 40 feet from his snowmobile. He told my mom that the only thing he was thinking of when he was rolling that he hoped his neck wasn't broken. Thank you God, that is wasn't. His snowmobile is completely wrote off and I guess a huge mess but thankfully he is alright, just a very sore neck and body. I am so thankful to God that this was not my brothers time. It really could of went either way. Last week a 30 year old man died here when he was struck on his snowmobile. I fear every time Jonathan goes out in his, I know he is a responsible driver but accidents happen so easily, as we just experienced.