Week 35

Well little man this week you are on the move even more and you will actually crawl forward for maybe two moves of your hands and then you stop.

You are trying to pull yourself up on things with the help of mommy. I will hold your waist and you will pull up. It is so cute and I imagine in a few weeks you wont be needing my help anymore.

You can now pick things up with your thumb and pointer finger, your pincer grip. It is so cute to see you pick up little pieces of food this way.

Fit Fridays

This week I had a pretty good week. I am feeling pretty good about it anyway. I am only down 1.2 lbs but that is a great loss I think.

I really tried to eat healthy this week and increase my water consumption, which I did well at. I still didn't eat as well as I could have but I can try harder this week.

I also did well at exercising. I have started up pilates in the morning and I have been walking 3+ days a week.

Last night we loaded up the dog, wee man and ourselves and drove in to the boardwalk and walked for 5km. It felt great!!! My butt is a little sore today but that can be a good thing, I hope!!

So the plan of attack for this week is:

- walk 4 x a week
- Do pilates 3 X week
- drink 3L per day
- eat healthy

Shopping!

Yesterday the wee man and I spent the morning shopping. I had set out in hopes to buy the hubbs fathers day present as well as my dads fathers day present however I had no luck with them but I did find a few things for myself. I never shop for myself anymore, it is either things for the wee man, my big man, the house or even the dog, not me.

I complained to the hubbs a few weeks ago that I am turning into one of those frumpy moms. I am in between sizes right now so that doesn't help at all. My clothes that fit before I got pregnant do not fit now and the ones that are my skinnier clothes are still a bit to tight. I refuse to buy new clothes until I am down at least 15lbs as I would hate to buy clothes and not fit into them in a month and have wasted my money. When I started this weight loss kick I said I would go on a big shopping spree in the fall when we plan a trip to the states so that is my motivator. I don't really want to buy many clothes until then.

So what did I buy? Shoes!!

When I was pregnant my feet grew and not just in width. They actually grew a full size. So my once 9 1/2 - 10 size feet are now a size 11. It was actually pretty devastating as I already thought my feet were huge but now they are really huge. To make it even more devastating you cannot find shoes that size around here or if you do they are horrendous granny type loafers. Which I am sure a really comfy but I want to be a cute mom not a frumpy mom.

So yesterday the wee man and I headed in to payless as they were having their Buy 1 get 1 half off sale and they actually had some cute ones. I ended up walking out of the store with 4 pairs. I really can't believe I did it, neither can the hubbs his jaw dropped when he walked in the door after work and saw four shoe boxes. I only spent a little over $100 which is really pretty good, I think, for four pairs of shoes. Granted they aren't the best quality but they are cute and practical.

Here are three of them

Cry It Out

So Today I started the cry it out method with the wee man and let me tell you it is horrible.

Liam has always been a good sleeper. He was sleeping through the night at 5 weeks old which for an EBF baby is pretty good. Then around 12 weeks something happened and he was up several times a night and it hasn't stopped yet. He wakes up and needs me to rock him back to sleep and just hold him and I absolutely love doing it but I figure he needs to learn how to put himself back to sleep and so I turned to the Ferber Method.

After nursing him for the night I curled him up in his blankie, sang and rocked him for several minutes. I kissed his forehead, laid him in to bed and whispered goodnight. I then left his room and went to the kitchen to do dishes, he immediately began crying. I waited a minute and went to check on him, he was completely fine so I went back out. He continued to cry, I mean wail, so I checked a few minutes later. This time I stroked his hair and sang him a little song, he would have nothing of it so I left again. For 20 minutes he sobbed and sobbed, every few minutes he would stop and I would think oh thank goodness he is done but he would start back up. Finally after 20 minutes he finally stopped, let out a sigh and went to sleep.

I cannot stop feeling like the most horrible mom on the planet. I feel like I failed my child, like he needed me so bad and I just ignored him. I have the biggest pit in my stomach and am doing everything in my power not to have a mental break down. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I hate hearing my baby cry, before tonight I would always pick him up right away and soothe him and it felt so good. I know he needs to learn how to do this but I just feel so unbelievably helpless.

How on earth do I get over this feeling?

Fit Fridays

Well as I suspected I am still up 193lbs. Yesterday I jumped back on the healthy bandwagon and I am hoping to go strong. It is really hard to stay motivated. My BFF and I started a competition today to see who can lose the most weight. It includes, her, her hubs and I and runs until august 6th. This should be a big motivated but I am afraid they will win. It is hard for a EBF momma to lose too much weight without affecting her milk supply. I have already noticed a decline in my milk so I really need to make sure I am taking in enough calories from now on. So we shall see how it goes. I would be okay with losing the competition though if I still lost over 10lbs.