Week 35

Well little man this week you are on the move even more and you will actually crawl forward for maybe two moves of your hands and then you stop.

You are trying to pull yourself up on things with the help of mommy. I will hold your waist and you will pull up. It is so cute and I imagine in a few weeks you wont be needing my help anymore.

You can now pick things up with your thumb and pointer finger, your pincer grip. It is so cute to see you pick up little pieces of food this way.

Fit Fridays

This week I had a pretty good week. I am feeling pretty good about it anyway. I am only down 1.2 lbs but that is a great loss I think.

I really tried to eat healthy this week and increase my water consumption, which I did well at. I still didn't eat as well as I could have but I can try harder this week.

I also did well at exercising. I have started up pilates in the morning and I have been walking 3+ days a week.

Last night we loaded up the dog, wee man and ourselves and drove in to the boardwalk and walked for 5km. It felt great!!! My butt is a little sore today but that can be a good thing, I hope!!

So the plan of attack for this week is:

- walk 4 x a week
- Do pilates 3 X week
- drink 3L per day
- eat healthy

Shopping!

Yesterday the wee man and I spent the morning shopping. I had set out in hopes to buy the hubbs fathers day present as well as my dads fathers day present however I had no luck with them but I did find a few things for myself. I never shop for myself anymore, it is either things for the wee man, my big man, the house or even the dog, not me.

I complained to the hubbs a few weeks ago that I am turning into one of those frumpy moms. I am in between sizes right now so that doesn't help at all. My clothes that fit before I got pregnant do not fit now and the ones that are my skinnier clothes are still a bit to tight. I refuse to buy new clothes until I am down at least 15lbs as I would hate to buy clothes and not fit into them in a month and have wasted my money. When I started this weight loss kick I said I would go on a big shopping spree in the fall when we plan a trip to the states so that is my motivator. I don't really want to buy many clothes until then.

So what did I buy? Shoes!!

When I was pregnant my feet grew and not just in width. They actually grew a full size. So my once 9 1/2 - 10 size feet are now a size 11. It was actually pretty devastating as I already thought my feet were huge but now they are really huge. To make it even more devastating you cannot find shoes that size around here or if you do they are horrendous granny type loafers. Which I am sure a really comfy but I want to be a cute mom not a frumpy mom.

So yesterday the wee man and I headed in to payless as they were having their Buy 1 get 1 half off sale and they actually had some cute ones. I ended up walking out of the store with 4 pairs. I really can't believe I did it, neither can the hubbs his jaw dropped when he walked in the door after work and saw four shoe boxes. I only spent a little over $100 which is really pretty good, I think, for four pairs of shoes. Granted they aren't the best quality but they are cute and practical.

Here are three of them

Cry It Out

So Today I started the cry it out method with the wee man and let me tell you it is horrible.

Liam has always been a good sleeper. He was sleeping through the night at 5 weeks old which for an EBF baby is pretty good. Then around 12 weeks something happened and he was up several times a night and it hasn't stopped yet. He wakes up and needs me to rock him back to sleep and just hold him and I absolutely love doing it but I figure he needs to learn how to put himself back to sleep and so I turned to the Ferber Method.

After nursing him for the night I curled him up in his blankie, sang and rocked him for several minutes. I kissed his forehead, laid him in to bed and whispered goodnight. I then left his room and went to the kitchen to do dishes, he immediately began crying. I waited a minute and went to check on him, he was completely fine so I went back out. He continued to cry, I mean wail, so I checked a few minutes later. This time I stroked his hair and sang him a little song, he would have nothing of it so I left again. For 20 minutes he sobbed and sobbed, every few minutes he would stop and I would think oh thank goodness he is done but he would start back up. Finally after 20 minutes he finally stopped, let out a sigh and went to sleep.

I cannot stop feeling like the most horrible mom on the planet. I feel like I failed my child, like he needed me so bad and I just ignored him. I have the biggest pit in my stomach and am doing everything in my power not to have a mental break down. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I hate hearing my baby cry, before tonight I would always pick him up right away and soothe him and it felt so good. I know he needs to learn how to do this but I just feel so unbelievably helpless.

How on earth do I get over this feeling?

Fit Fridays

Well as I suspected I am still up 193lbs. Yesterday I jumped back on the healthy bandwagon and I am hoping to go strong. It is really hard to stay motivated. My BFF and I started a competition today to see who can lose the most weight. It includes, her, her hubs and I and runs until august 6th. This should be a big motivated but I am afraid they will win. It is hard for a EBF momma to lose too much weight without affecting her milk supply. I have already noticed a decline in my milk so I really need to make sure I am taking in enough calories from now on. So we shall see how it goes. I would be okay with losing the competition though if I still lost over 10lbs.

Thankful Thursday

All week I have felt like we have been one day ahead so thinking that yesterday was Thursday I posted this and then noticed everyone else was blogging about Wordless Wednesdays so I quickly took it down.

This week I am so thankful for the sun, we have had two long long weeks of rain here and just in the last two days we have had gorgeous weather. Finally we can get outside again and enjoy ourselves.

So yesterday we made the best of the sun and went for a walk. Since I rarely post pics, you all get to have a peek of my two wee lads relaxing after our walk.

Bad Bad Bad

I am such a bad blogger! I have made a vow to myself that to get better. This week we have been really busy with family visiting. My grandmother and two aunts came to visit us as well as my brother. This was the first time they met the wee man and of course they were in love. Although He was pretty cranking all weekend as he was on a nap strike and tooth #2 was popping through They are back home now so we are just trying to get everything back in order.

I wasn't able to weigh in last Friday, due to them arriving but I know I did not lose anything and I know this week will be the same. All I did was eat out and eat junk the whole time they were here. So I wouldn't be surprised if I gained another 2 lbs. AF also hasn't arrived yet but I suspect within the next day or two I can expect her. Which has also been a factor in me wanted chocolate all day long!!

Fit Fridays

Well this week was an absolute disaster. I am up 2 lbs which is so frustrating!!
Granted I didn't eat well all week due to Mrs. AF coming and I only walked twice this week due to a strong and cold north wind but it was still so depressing to step on the scale and go two pounds backwards. I am really hoping it is just fluid (bloat) from said AF which usually happens about a week before it shows up.

I was really hoping I would break into the 180's this week, it has been so long since I have been there. Now this week coming I really need to work my tail off to get there, but I am super determined!!

On a slightly good note, I was told by two people this week that I look like I have lost a lot of weight. Which is nice to hear even if it has been a little bit. My jeans also do not fit, I have those nice saggy droopy butt jeans now that are so not attractive. So what did I do? I tried on my skinny jeans, well my slightly fatter skinny jeans, and they fit!! Granted I have major muffin top but I rocked them this weekend with a flowy top and it felt great!! Now to just lose the muffin top.

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for:
~ My wonderful husband who works hard for our family
~ My sweet adorable boy who fills my life with so much joy
~ That in one month my brother will be coming home to live, no more hospital. That he can now walk, which is so amazing!
~ The bald eagle and it's baby I saw flying when I looked out my back window. They are such beautiful creatures. So strong and graceful. Every time I see them I think of the verse Isaiah 40:31:

But those who wait upon the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

~ Which makes me thankful for God's Love

Teething Sucks

On Sunday we discovered Liam had a little tooth popping through and well today it is here and to make it worse he has two more that are just about through. The last few days have been horrible for sleep and today he is so fussy and tired. I cannot do anything to make it better for him. The only thing he wants is for me to hold him. I feel so bad for the little guy because he just looks up at me with his big sad eyes as if he is trying to say "help me mama" and I can't do anything. I feel so useless and I am on the brink of tears. I really hope they all come through so soon so Liam can get back to himself and we can get some sleep.

Fit Fridays

So I decided to let Fridays be my day to talk about Operation Get Fit.

So here I am about a month into my journey to get fit and back to my sexy self and it is going pretty well but I am working really hard at it. The first couple of weeks I started eating healthier and eliminating junk from my diet. I did allow myself to eat whatever I wanted on Saturdays but I would always feel so yucky and fatigued so now I am just going to get rid of that all together.

The last two weeks I starting exercising. I walk or walk/run at least 3 times a week but I try to do more. I find this is what is working the most. The eating healthy helps me feel great but it is the combination of exercise and eating healthy that is taking the weight off. One alone would not do the trick, you need to do both.

So as of this week I am down 6lbs and I am feeling great. Only 4 more pounds until I can reward myself.

Sweet Blog Award

Jessie gave me this sweet blog award, she is a such a sweetie herself and has the most adorable little girl. Head on over to her blog to check them out. http://www.teamburklin.com/

I would like to nominate

http://goodsonfamilyjourney.blogspot.com/

http://notamomenttoosoon.blogspot.com/

http://alma1107.blogspot.com/

Sleepless Nights

For the last 2-3 weeks we have been running on no sleep. Liam has been getting up at least 4 times a night and then finally waking for the day at 5 am. Now 5 am isn't too bad and I totally wouldn't mind that if he slept from say 7pm- 5am but he doesn't.

Normally he eats and goes down at 7pm and he was sleeping right through until 6 am or occasionally he would wake at 3:00am for a feeding and then go back down. Oh how I miss those nights.

I guess we are going through the four month wakeful along with teething. The poor little guy has his two middle teeth on the bottom just waiting to pop through. They are swollen and red and look so sore. I really hope they come through soon, I hate seeing him in pain and well we all need some sleep.

A Little Pinch

Liam has recently taken up pinching and while he is just exploring all he can do with his hands it hurts. Yesterday while I was just about to feed him he pinches my arm really hard. I loudly said ouch and what does he do? Looks up at me and laughs!!

I am beginning to think I am going to have my hands full with my little cutie!

Eating Well is Hard!

This whole eating healthy thing is really hard, I mean really hard!! I love love food and chocolately fatty food at that. Before I met my lovely hubby I was 36lbs, actually make that 32lbs(due to my recent loss) lighter than I am now. I was in great shape, working out every day and eating very healthy. Then I met my junk food, chips addicted husband and well my healthy habits changed. I adapted his eating habits and lifestyle and fast forward 4 years I am now 32lbs heavier.

This last month I vowed to get my healthy lifestyle back and let me tell you it is not easy. I find it especially hard when you are a stay at home mom and you have the fridge starring at you all day long. Then there is the problem of baking! I am a huge baker, I actually baked every day when I was pregnant with Liam and every day after he was born. I just needed to have cookies and loafs and such around. Problem was I would eat them all myself.

So now here I am eating healthy, and it is going well. I feel great and when I do indulge in some not so healthy options it makes me feel really yucky. Last night I went to the movies and brought along a little sandwich bag with about 20 chips in it and I am proud to say I didn't even eat half of them. Before I could easily eat my whole days worth of calories while watching a movie.

I do still bake, I chose some healthier options and I make smaller portions. For example, I made mini strawberry muffins yesterday. They are delicious and so very cute!

So For breakfast today I indulged in two mini muffins along with some cheese and my daily foot smoothie. It was a great breakfast!!

My Mother's Day

I had such a wonderful day. My husband is one of the least romantic people you will meet and doesn't often plan things for days like this as he doesn't know what to plan but he made me feel really special.

He first made me breakfast pancakes, eggs and bacon. He does not cook. I gave him my pancake recipe and he went to it. Although they were a bit burnt I ate them because he did something for me he wasn't comfortable doing but he knew it would mean a lot. I love him for that.

He then brought Liam in to me and Liam was holding on to my gift which was a gift card to indigo so I could get some new books since I am always buying books for Liam. It was so cute, he smiled as he handed it over to me. I love him so much!

We then went to visit my brother in the hospital and Liam gave his Nana a gift, which was a photo book of him for the last few months. She loved it.

The rest of the day we spent relaxing and playing together and DH even covered supper so I wouldn't have to make it. Love Him!

Happy Mother's Day

To all the mother's out there I wish you all a wonderful day. We all have the most amazing yet difficult job one could ever have. I never knew I could love anyone as much as I love Liam. He has brought me so much joy and happiness in such a short time.

A Mother's Love

A Mother's love is something
that no on can explain,
It is made of deep devotion
and of sacrifice and pain,
It is endless and unselfish
and enduring come what may
For nothing can destroy it
or take that love away . . .
It is patient and forgiving
when all others are forsaking,
And it never fails or falters
even though the heart is breaking . . .
It believes beyond believing
when the world around condemns,
And it glows with all the beauty
of the rarest, brightest gems . . .
It is far beyond defining,
it defies all explanation,
And it still remains a secret
like the mysteries of creation . . .
A many splendoured miracle
man cannot understand
And another wondrous evidence
of God's tender guiding hand.

Fluffy Butts

Liam has a blow out poop at least once a day and it is so frustrating and disgusting. So after many many weeks of scrubbing poop and getting stains out of his clothes we have switched to cloth.

Here is a before




And after, his cute fluffy butt

4 Months

So I am about two weeks late on this post but Liam is now 4 months old. I cannot even believe how fast the time is going, it makes me a bit sad but at the same time with each new month comes new developments. He is so fun now, he talks and smiles all the time and laughs, it is so cute.

4 Month Stats:

17 lbs 11 0z
26.5 inches long

1 Year Ago

One year ago yesterday Joel and I found out we were finally pregnant. I cannot even begin to tell you how amazing that day was. It gives me shivers just thinking about it. Liam has blessed our as well as those around us in more ways than we could ever have thought possible. He is such an amazing boy and I thank God every day he chose to bless us with him.