I am so thankful

My mom called me late last night after I got home from work around 10pm to inform that my brother had been in a bad snowmobile accident in the early morning. He was coming home from a ride with some friends when two of them stopped at the top of the hill to wait for the other two. They were waiting for a while so decided to turn around and go back to find them. It was a blind hill and as my brother was going over the ledge to head down he was hit by one of his friends. We were told that he flew in the air and rolled until coming to a stop 40 feet from his snowmobile. He told my mom that the only thing he was thinking of when he was rolling that he hoped his neck wasn't broken. Thank you God, that is wasn't. His snowmobile is completely wrote off and I guess a huge mess but thankfully he is alright, just a very sore neck and body. I am so thankful to God that this was not my brothers time. It really could of went either way. Last week a 30 year old man died here when he was struck on his snowmobile. I fear every time Jonathan goes out in his, I know he is a responsible driver but accidents happen so easily, as we just experienced.

I'm Doing Good!!

So the bonus of not being PG this month is that I get another month to get healthier for when I do get PG. My goal this week is to work out 5 times this week and to lose 4lbs. so far I have worked out 2 times so tonight, Friday and Saturday I will have to do and I am already down 2 lbs and it is only Thursday. I feel great!!!

I have been eating really healthy this week which I am so proud of. For lunch I usually just have soup and some cheese and a piece of fruit. For dinners I eat a big salad before hand so I fill up on that first. I am also drinking lots and lots of water. I do allow myself to have a treat every night and that is the 100cal chocolate covered pretzel snack packs. I love them!!!

I feel so great, more energy and not sluggish by the time 3:00pm rolls around like I usually am.

hmmm...

Well yesterday was CD 6 and what a confusing day it was. I woke up with creamy CM which by the afternoon had turned to wet CM, then in the evening I found the smallest bit of EWCM that was a little reddish in color, strange. I marked my CM for the day as creamy though because it is really early to be having wet CM.

Well today I have had wet CM all day and have been having cramps and twinges off and on. It seems a bit early to me to be getting wet CM this early but I guess nothing really surprises me anymore when it comes to my cycles. I guess we will just start sexing it up.

No Little Pumpkin

Well no little pumpkin for us. My cramps have been getting stronger and when I checked my cervix this afternoon there was some blood so I suspect AF will be here by the end of the day or early tomorrow. I am done of my pity party, I have cried the last two days and have nothing left so I am now moving on to this next cycle and praying this is our cycle.

This month marks our 1 year since we started TTC however, it has only been 8 cycles. as we took from april - august off. Lets hope cycle # 9 is our lucky one. It definitely doesn't get easy as time goes on.

Now only about 14-15 more days until I O,from one countdown to the next.

I am having a couple of rough days, I have given up hope for this cycle. My chart is crap because of this cold, waking up several times a night and having to sleep with my mouth open for the last week due to congestion. Also I have no symptoms at all, I felt nauseaus on the weekend but I guess that was just the flu. Cramps and sore BB's started last night so I expect AF in the next couple of days.

I completely broke down last night and cried hysterically to Joel because I was watching a tv show and the man kissed his wife's belly goodnight. I so desperately want that and it hurt that we don't have it yet. Joel keeps saying it's okay and we'll try harder next cycle but we have tried hard already, we had perfect timing, drank the green tea, did the pineapple thing. I have nothing left to try.

I just pray that it happens soon.

I found this prayer on a different site that hopefully gives others comfort in this difficult time.



Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray for the woman reading this right now…the women who feel alone. As if no one understands—perhaps she tried and tried to get pregnant and just can’t, perhaps she has been pregnant and had continuous miscarriages, perhaps her husband is sterile, she and her husband may have bodies that function normally and still she can’t get pregnant—perhaps she has lost her womb due to a number of different diseases, she may have something that is unexplained, perhaps she has passed the age for childbearing. Lord, the reason doesn’t really matter as much as the pain does, reminders of this pain can occur morning, noon or night…please comfort my sister Lord….please let her know she is a beautiful woman who is loved by You no matter what the outcome of this situation. Dear Heavenly Father, please give her patience with this situation and the Faith to know that this is solely in your hands and your hands only. Dear God I pray for all the women I have met and all the women in the world suffering through infertility. Lord, please wrap your arms around them and guide them through this bumpy path in life.You God are amazing, and I know that, I trust in you lord and I know that anything is possible with you by my side and in my heart!

In Jesus name I pray,

Amen