Last night I completely broke down to Joel and cried for what seemed like hours. I was so frustrated as I saw so many pregnant teenagers/ moms at the mall yesterday and it hurt so bad. I was judging them as to why they should have been so lucky to be blessed when they weren't likely trying and possibly not even wanting a baby and here we were wanting one so bad and have been trying and have not been blessed yet. I really shouldn't have done that and I know everything happens for a reason and like Joel said when it is our time we will be blessed. It is still hard though.
So I went to bed and had a great sleep and woke up really hopeful, which was a little strange and I should have been feeling depressed that AF is around the corner, so I tested and I had a temp increase this morning. Not a large one but it brought me back above coverline. So now I just feel awful, I have gotten my hopes back up and I feel almost sick to my stomach which I think is due to the stress I am putting on myself over this stupid chart. I just wish it would all be over and I know tomorrow it likely will be as tomorrow is 14 DPO, my normal LP length so AF should be here. I really wish she wouldn't show up though. I have been praying all day that she doesn't but I don't really have much hope at this point.