Thursday, April 22, 2010

1 Year Ago

One year ago yesterday Joel and I found out we were finally pregnant. I cannot even begin to tell you how amazing that day was. It gives me shivers just thinking about it. Liam has blessed our as well as those around us in more ways than we could ever have thought possible. He is such an amazing boy and I thank God every day he chose to bless us with him.

Monday, April 12, 2010

No Bottles

My dear sweet child will not take a bottle. We have tried several types of bottles and several types of nipples and it seems he has no idea what to do with them. We have have tried probably about 5-6 times now and each time he just puts it in his mouth and almost tries to chew on the nipple not suck on it.

Each time it was his daddy giving him the bottle and I was either out of the house or out of sight and sound. I really need him to take it at least every once and a while so I can get out, just me.

anyone have any tips?

Date Night = Success

Our date night was a success. It was so nice to just get out and be us again. Although we thought and talked about Liam a lot it was great. Liam did great also! I fed him before we left and he feel asleep and did not wake until 3 am to feed again. He had a great time with his Nana and we will for sure be doing it again soon.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Date Night?

Tonight the hubbs and I are going on a date! A Date? It has been so long since we have been on one that I am actually scared. Seriously, the last time we went on a date was to see the Blindside in the theatre's which was in Novemeber maybe. It was long before Liam arrived anyway. With all that has been going on in the last few months I haven't wanted to leave Liam and well I didn't really have the opportunity. The only one I really trusted to watch Liam was my mom and she was at the hospital 24/7, literally, she never left the place in 5 weeks. Well now that things are looking up and she now goes home at night she asked if she could watch Liam for us. She adores him to no end and really misses being able to spend a lot of time with him. So I agreed and tonight we are heading out for dinner.

I am actually a little excited to get away from him, although I love him to death I have never left him for greater than an hour so it will be good for the both of us. I am also really scared though, I am leaving my baby for the first time. While I know he is in great hands he has trouble going to sleep for anyone but me and has only taken a bottle once before.

I will likely be calling every 30 mins to check and see how things are going and I really hope they do go okay.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

The First Day !!

Today is the first day of "Operation Get Fit"

Since meeting Joel, dating, getting married, trying for Liam, being pregnant with Liam, having Liam and so fourth, I have gained 35lbs well 70lbs if you count the pregnancy but I have currently lost all my pregnancy weight.

This year I am really determined to lose all the 35lbs and would love to do it by October if I can. I think that is a great goal! 35 lbs in 6 months or roughly 25 weeks so it would only be a little more and 1 lb a week. Totally Do-able!

Also Joel and I are planning on running a marathon in October, actually a half marathon, so losing the weight by then would be great as I would have less to carry on my run.

So I am doing this by eating healthier, Following Canada's Food Guide, No restricting Calories because I need them for breastfeeding and by exercising.

So Tonight is Weigh In # 1, I am a little scared but I already weighed myself this morning so I kind of already know.

I will let you all know the starting point tomorrow ;)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Part II

Well he made it through the first night, and the one after that and the one after that. Two weeks after the accident they removed his breathing tube and took him off the ventilator and breathed well on his own, he was still holding on. All while he was still unconcious.

Around 3 1/2 weeks he started opening his eyes briefly. This was scary as he was so emotionless, it was like there was nobody there and his gaze would pierce through you. As the days went on his eyes would stay open longer and he would be able to focus more. When asked to squeeze your hand he sometimes would, with his left side. This was so huge to us, but we were told to not get excited. Still I had a feeling he would come out of this. At this time he was no longer considered critical and was moved out of the neuro ICU.

He spent the next 2 weeks in the neuro until waiting for a transfer to PEI, back home. As the days went on he would seem to respond to us more he would even give Liam high fives. Although he never let the nurses see this. He was still considered unawake but when I would bring Liam into his room he would put up his hand to high five Liam.

5 1/2 weeks after the accident he was transferred home to the hospital here. We were so excited, he was going to be starting therapy and hoping his recovery would speed up, only we received horrible news.

The doctor here told us the prognosis he received from the doctor in Moncton. He said Jonathan was unresponsive and likely would never come out of this and if he did he would likely have many many problems like never being able to speak or use his right side. This was so devastating to hear, and I didn't believe it. I kept telling my mom over and over he would be okay, He was going to make a full recovery. God saved him for a reason and it wasn't to lay in a bed unresponsive for the rest of his life.
And how was he unresponsive anyway? He would play checkers with us, and win! and he would write on his white board, although it was messy and hard to read but it was with his left hand.

We prayed so hard over those 5 1/2 weeks but even harder when this prognosis came. We knew this wasn't the end and something big was going to happen. On that day I was sent the verse

Have you never heard?
Have you never understood?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint."

Isaiah 40:28-31

This was not a coincidence.

For exactly one week later Jonathan spoke, and not just a word here and there but full sentences. How is that even possible, here we were told he would likely never speak and he spoke. We were told when TBI patients are able to speak again it is a word here and there and he is speaking full sentences. When I went home and checked my email this was the verse of the day:

'But forget all that—
it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
The wild animals in the fields will thank me,
the jackals and owls, too,
for giving them water in the desert.
Yes, I will make rivers in the dry wasteland
so my chosen people can be refreshed.
I have made Israel for myself,
and they will someday honor me before the whole world.
But, dear family of Jacob, you refuse to ask for my help.
You have grown tired of me, O Israel!'"

Isaiah 40:18-22.

So There we have it, God is doing big things in Jonathan.

It has now been 8 weeks since his accident and he is talking and starting to be able to move his toes and ankles on his right side, hopefully this is a sign that he will regain movement altogether on that side.

My brother is a trooper, he shouldn't have survived a crash like this and really had a poor prognosis upon surviving but all he has accomplished has been God's plan for him. God doesn't make mistakes, and while we have no idea why this has happened to Jonathan or our family is has for a reason. We may never, in this lifetime, know the reason but nevertheless there is one.

Feb 7, 2010- The worst day of my life, Part I

The accident happened in St Quentin, New Brunswick. Which is a very small town not very close to much. We were informed that Jonathan had his a hard patch of snow left by the plow that he had not seen due to snow blowing up from my Uncle's snowmobile who was travelling in front of him.

When his sled had hit the snow it stopped dead and Jonathan hit the windshield and flew 200- 300 feet through the air before landing on the ground. My uncle turned around to watch in horror as he was flying straight upright through the air, nothing he could do to stop him.

The ambulance arrived on the scene 1 hour later and rushed him to the local hospital which than rushed him to Edmunston Hospital. Edmunston was the nearest hospital that was better equipped to handle an accident of the sort and was located 1 hour away. We were told Jonathan was unconscious from the time he made impact.

Fast forward to 7pm that evening when we finally got word from the doctor at Edmunston. He told us that Jonathan had no broken bones but suffered brain trauma and he was be transferred to Moncton City Hospital as soon as he was stabilized as they have the only neuro-trauma unit in the Maritimes.

Brain Trauma? So much for just broken bones. I completely lost it, brain trauma is the worst possible thing that could happen, how can you come out of brain trauma, and if you do what are the chances?

Well at 4 am in the morning he finally arrived in Moncton. We first heard of the accident at 1:30 pm and had to wait until 4 am to finally see him. Those were such horribly long hours. The doctor came in to talk to us and told us that his injury was very very severe, he must have repeated this 5 times and I just kept thinking shut up he will be okay, he has to be. From this moment on I despised this man, even if he was going to help save him. He told us Jonathan had a bleed deep within his brain, and due to this there was nothing they could do for it. He also said his femur was fractured in 3 places, which we later learned was 4. So how is it possible that the hospital in Edmunston missed this? It is after all the largest bone in the body.

After hearing the news we got to see him, and this was by far the most frightening thing I have witnessed. There was my brother, all 6 ft 2 300 lbs of him laying in the bed hooked up to every monitor and tube you could imagine. There were constant beeps and alarms and his chest would move up and down to the rhythm of the ventilator.

We were told these next few days were crucial and that only time would tell what would happen.


Well everyone it has been so long since I last posted, too long!!

Lots has gone on in the last 3 months, omg 3 months, since I last posted and I will explain it all. Our lives were completely thrown upside down and within the blink of an eye they changed.

Well start around Jan 31,

On this day, a Sunday, our whole family(all 30 of ya's) gathered at my parents house to celebrate all the Jan and Feb birthdays. This is something we do every month or two if we combine them. Towards the end of the day my two uncles were asking my little brother if he wanted to go on a snowmobile trip with them, it was a week long trip through Northern New Brunswick and into Quebec. Jonathan, my brother, at the time said he likely wouldn't be able to as it would be too expensive and he was a student. After much persuading he finally decided he would. So on Feb 5th, my birthday, the all loaded up their sleds and took off for the weekend. He seemed pretty excited to get away and relax doing something he absolutely loved and after all he did deserve it as he was working so hard in school.

My parents, Joel, Liam and I all celebrated my birthday that night minus Jonathan. On Saturday morning Joel and I headed off to Moncton, New Brunswick to celebrate our birthday's with his family. He is from there and his birthday was on Feb 1st.

The whole drive there, all 1 1/2 hours of it, I felt uneasy and kept thinking of Jonathan as if something was going to happen to his sled, that there would be an accident. I brushed my thoughts away, thinking I was making it all up and being depressing.

The weekend went on and fast forward to Sunday on our drive home. We were half way home when our cell rang. I looked at the caller ID, it was my parents number, my heart sank immediately. I didn't want to answer the phone as I knew something had happened.

I did answer and heard, "Mandy, It's mom, Where are ya's" in a trembling voice. I immediately responded with "what's wrong? It's Jonathan isn't it?" To which she completely broke down saying it was, he was in a horrible snowmobile accident."

My heart completely broke. This is my little brother, the one who knows me better than anyone else, the one who shared a room with me until I was 6, who would build forts with me and splash in the puddles with me, the one who I would try so hard to protect in school only he was 75 lbs bigger than me. How could I protect him now.
At the time we weren't quite aware of how bad it really was but boy was it bad. In my head I just kept thinking, the chances of him surviving an accident aren't great and I just kept praying over and over to just let there be broken bones, he could survive broken bones.