Sunday, January 11, 2009

What Comes Next

Well this was the first day back at school, It is going to be one hell of a semester and I cannot wait until it is over,only 3 more months until I graduate.

After graduation I planned on talking a year off to hopefully be a SAHM or apply for a full year internship. I told myself that if I was not pregnant by the deadline for application, Feb 1, that I would send my applications in but I wanted so bad to be pregnant by then so I wouldn't have to face this decision. My testing day this month is Feb.19th which is the day before I send in my application. I feel really strongly about this internship and though I have no idea if I will be accepted, I feel I must apply. Maybe this is the whole reason Joel and I are not pregnant yet, just maybe God wants me to do this first. Sometimes I wish we could see into the future to know just exactly what we should do. I want a baby so bad but I don't feel I should put my life on hold to get one because I don't want to come years later and realize that I have put off so much. I hope this doesn't sound selfish of me, I really am not putting anything above TTC I just want to keep my options open.

So this week I will be busy writing my application letters and getting all my packages together. Wish me luck as it is a long and stressful time.

Also the internship I am applying to is in the YUKON, Canada. Which if none of you know is in the Northern Territories of Canada, beside Alaska. Currently Joel and I live in Eastern Canada so this will be quite the move as well as adventure if I do get accepted.

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