Excited?

For some odd reason I am quite excited to be starting this cycle, I have a good feeling about it which really scares me because I know how let down I will be if we get a BFN again. Joel and I were talking last night and we both have a really good feeling, I don't know what it means at this point, and probably means nothing but I am really, really hoping this is our month, I am thinking positive thoughts. I am only on CD 7 so I have at least a week before I O again.

I am not going to try anything different this cycle as that stuff doesn't really work. If your are going to get pregnant then you are going to get pregnant and all the pineapple core in the world won't change it.

Hump Day

Yay the week is half over but the next couple of days are going to kill me. They are full of meetings, classes and work. I cannot wait until the weekend.

So an update on AF:

Today the cramps starting, along with a backache and my need to eat anything greasy as well as chocolate so it appears the royal bitch is on her way. I guess that means that my LP is now 16 days, strange. It has been 14days for so long. I really don't like that at all, I found 14 days long now to have to wait an extra 2 more days before testing, argghh.

I am not sure what to do different this cycle, I guess more sex, and more green tea, and hopefully a good sleeping pattern so I will have nice temps. Yes I am temping again, I find it worse not knowing.

On a positive note, I didn't cave in and test at all this cycle so now I have 5 lovely tests waiting for the end of next cycle. Let's hope that they all get used and I get my BFP.

Here's to hoping that our favorite month, the month of love is our lucky one. If AF shows up today/tomorrow than I will more than likely be Oing on my Bday!! Come on Birthday O, how sweet a present it would be if we could concieve on my Bday.

Okay AF where are you?

So I usually O between cd 13-16 and I was pretty sure I o'd on the 14th this cycle quite possibly even the 15. So that would make me 15-16 DPO and my usual LP is 14 days. I also have no sign of AF, no sensitive BB's no cramping, just a decrease in temp which would make me think it was on it's way. Nothing!! So what the hell happened. I guess I should have charted this cycle. I have started charting the last few days but today I was up at 4am with Finley who thought it was play time and by the time I got settled back to bed it was 5:30 and the alarm went off an hour later so it was pointless to temp. Finley sure is getting us ready to be parents.

I guess it is possible that I O'd a week later, since I have no temp to confirm. I had wet cm, not EWCM but wet so it is possible. So here is back to the charting and waiting. Come on BFP or AF. I would prefer the first but I am getting impatient.

Monday

I was really hoping for a storm day today. This is the second Monday in a row where they have been calling for a snow storm and we ended up getting nothing but rain.

AF isn't here yet but should be tonight or early tomorrow morning. I just wish it would come and get over with already so we can get at it again. I even stocked up on green tea today so I will be ready.

Also, tonight I am going to bride wars with a couple of friends. I can't wait, it looks really good!! Let's hope it is.

Saturdays.....

I love them!!! The feeling of having nothing to do is fantastic. This morning I laid in bed until 9:30, I then got up had a shower and went to the Salon and got my hair trimmed and styled. It felt great to just get out of the house and get this done. I then hung out with my mommy for a few hours went to visit a friend, who had brought someone in to do our nails, such a nice treat. So now I have sexy hair and nails, I may have to jump DH tonight and give him a little treat before AF comes along and leaves him without any for a few days.

Piss Off

last night I started cramping and I still am today. So AF should be arriving right on schedule. Nothing else to update right now, I just feel pissed off and broken.

11 DPO ?

Well This morning when I woke up, I decided to temp just to see what I was dealing with. My temp was 98.4 which is pretty normal for this day in my cycle, but tomorrow or the next day it should take a nose dive, fingers crossed it doesn't. I don't have any symptoms, yet, that make me think AF is on here way. No cramps, which I usually get several days before, should of had them by now. My boobs are still a bit tender but nothing out of the ordinary. Only 3 more days until testing.

URGGHH

Well last night wasn't the greatest. At about 7:30pm I started to get a lower back ache followed by some cramping and cravings for pizza. At 8pm Joel finally gave in and went to pick some it, yummy. I guess the phantom symptoms are beginning. I believe I am either 9 or 10 DPO right now. I haven't temped this cycle so I can't confirm it with that but due to my CP, CM and the one temp I took on CD 15, 1DPO and it was similar to the temps from previous cycles for 1DPO. Today I have been starving all day for breakfast I had a banana and a bowl of cheerios followed by a slice of pizza 30 mins later and another slice of pizza 1 hour later about an hour after that the heartburn started. Oh the joys of the 2ww. So as of right now my phantom symptoms have been:

9 DPO: fatigue, lower back ache, cramping, tender boobs, and cravings
10 DPO: Starving, fatigue, tender boobs and heartburn.

Only 4-5 more days and I can test.

What Comes Next

Well this was the first day back at school, It is going to be one hell of a semester and I cannot wait until it is over,only 3 more months until I graduate.

After graduation I planned on talking a year off to hopefully be a SAHM or apply for a full year internship. I told myself that if I was not pregnant by the deadline for application, Feb 1, that I would send my applications in but I wanted so bad to be pregnant by then so I wouldn't have to face this decision. My testing day this month is Feb.19th which is the day before I send in my application. I feel really strongly about this internship and though I have no idea if I will be accepted, I feel I must apply. Maybe this is the whole reason Joel and I are not pregnant yet, just maybe God wants me to do this first. Sometimes I wish we could see into the future to know just exactly what we should do. I want a baby so bad but I don't feel I should put my life on hold to get one because I don't want to come years later and realize that I have put off so much. I hope this doesn't sound selfish of me, I really am not putting anything above TTC I just want to keep my options open.

So this week I will be busy writing my application letters and getting all my packages together. Wish me luck as it is a long and stressful time.

Also the internship I am applying to is in the YUKON, Canada. Which if none of you know is in the Northern Territories of Canada, beside Alaska. Currently Joel and I live in Eastern Canada so this will be quite the move as well as adventure if I do get accepted.

A New Year has begun

2009 Has begun and it came in with a bang, here is a nice shot of my front yard when the blizzard started to somewhat ease up. I just wish it had hit tomorrow when I was suppose to work instead of on my scheduled day off.